Sunday, June 19, 2011

situations that stress me out, make me question humanity/the universe

this is basically a list of situations that give me the heebie-jeebies.
DISCLAIMER: anyone/everyone/I can be guilty of some of the person-related pet peeves, so no offense meant to anyone.
DISCLAIMER 2: this post might be boring/poorly punctuated. that is because i'm sick and my life is that of a bum.

-when your parent thinks that he/she will be nice and give you an ice cream sandwich in the wrong flavor and force you to/watch you eat it, and then decide they want one too and go get the flavor you would have chosen had you the autonomy and commence eating it in front of you, while you watch and wish you'd never eaten the damn ice cream sandwich at all

-when you are talking to a catch of the opposite sex and they ask you about yourself and things are going really well, but then you see your boss/your friend's mom/a teacher you didn't really know in high school and they make eye contact with you and interrupt your conversation and you have to exchange pleasantries until you can politely go back to your old conversation, for which all hope has already been lost thanks to the interruption

-when someone takes a bite of something of yours in your early stages of eating it and braves uncharted territory. this means, they start eating the hot fudge that you have meticulously eaten around to save it for the end, or they break the crust on the bottom of the pie/chocolate mousse parfait, thereby denying you that satisfaction. i mean it's YOUR dessert for god's sake. hasn't anyone heard of boundaries?

-when people plan a future party at a current party/discuss a previous social event that not all those present at the party were invited to in retrospect --> rude. similarly, when someone was at an event but not in any of the event pictures, pretty lame. fire your photographer. sometimes people need to realize that not everything is them-related.

-one-text conversations. similarly, three-text conversations. actually, text conversations.

-when one person is talking in a group and obviously no one is listening and then their voice just gets softer and softer and fades out

-couples that only pay attention to each other, even in public, even at parties, who leave to go talk to each other, be alone together inappropriately often or for inappropriately long periods of time, alienating everyone else who doesn't happen to be inside their relationship

-being the only person in a group with a certain opinion, and feeling like you have to represent everyone of your opinion. "Well Glee is actually a really good show, so what if it's over the top! It lives up to its NAME! You should give it a chance!"

-when people exclaim and declare their hatred of the one and only thing that is being served at a party. "oh chocolate, gross! i just hate chocolate! you should've considered making a caramel souffle!" if you don't like chocolate, or vegetables or something, you should consider that other people don't hate totally awesome things and shut the fuck up.

-when you have a birthday, special event coming up, and X person asks you what you want, putting you in the awkward position of being like oh, nothing! everyone knows the rules are to be a thoughtful friend and demonstrate that you care.

-making a personal comment about someone in front of a group, as if their feelings don't matter, as if you're not like shining an abrupt unwanted spotlight on them.

-when you google something and it becomes clear that all of the results contain the same information plagiarized from the first source, rephrased in different ways

-when everyone you know likes something and it just makes you want to hate it

-when someone rips on something I like and I actually want to punch them in the face because I like that thing so much or even if I don't like something but I completely believe in its right to be liked and respected and not ripped on. especially if it's like some broadway singer singing a really difficult ballad beautifully and effortlessly. then some bro is like "this sucks!" and i'm like are you kidding me? could you do this? should this person be rapping? JUST cuz it's not your thing DOESN'T MEAN IT'S NOT A THING. show some respect.

-every time a class is about to end and large amounts of people noisily pack up before the bell rings, i want to kill those people.

-when you fall in love with someone who is completely wrong for you and you have to lie to yourself to keep it at bay by controlling yourself and everything around you.

-when you do the little work, and get rewarded for it. life's not fair.