Tuesday, September 27, 2005

suddenly everyone on gilmore girls has bangs.

suddenly everyone in the whole frigging world has bangs.

i always wonder how I'd look with bangs...
cassie said it would look nice..

but my mom doesn't like bangs.. she never quite took anyone with bangs seriously.... hahahaha. omg. mom.

Monday, September 26, 2005

I have had a very strange epiphany. I have decided that Hilary Duff does not bug me anymore. And Fall Out Boy is actually mildly touching.

It just seems pointless wasting any energy on fighting music that I choose not to invest in. I mean, we're all good people. We're all into different sounds, yet they are all connected. And we all like different things but we're all the same. And besides, Hilary Duff seems a whole lot different and better now. Like, she listens to the Clash. So maybe her music reflects it? And I figure you can't be overly critical of genres or music that you don't listen to because they were not made to please you. They were made to benefit the person who wrote it and let them share their emotion with the world. And honestly, no ones forcing you to listen to music you don't like. And no emo boys are claiming to be rockers.
And if a band is trying something new, I say "Good for them" because they're not making music to keep recording the same song every time.

Also, to those who are big music snobs, it is realllly hard to write songs... especially if one is a female artist trying to get cred in the male-driven rock world. The Bikini Kill was never as popular as Nirvana was it? So if it's not all brilliant, remember that it takes a lot of practice before brilliance is achieved.

That said, it is important, for me, at least, to like a variety of music ranging form pop to rock to reggae to indian to african to really.. anything. You shouldn't dislike something based on it's label.And you shouldn't be afraid to like it. Because the whole point of music is to express ourselves through not completely verbal means. And it's supposed to heal, and make you feel. And you can't find music that does that unless you, yourself, seek out the music that makes you feel.
So really right now, for myself, I wanna end the musical hate. But I'll still probably gag if I see a bunch of kids with Good Charlotte sweatshirts.

That being said, that doesn't mean that I can't be a little bit helpful and poke you in the direction of music that will help.

Ah. The Strokes.

One of my most favoritest modern rock bands. Only second to the Shins.
They've been working on their new album forever. It's been so hyped. And finally now some kind kind soul has leaked the single on to the internet.

You can find it


Monday, September 19, 2005

My life is doing that weird shifty thing. Transition. It's like I'm frozen in the moment where I'm walking out of one room and into the other, the only problem is.. I'll never be able to go back to the past room. Or, it still won't be the same room even when I go back to it. It's sad, but exciting.
It's like when you watch the new season of a TV show, and they have to like, break up the couple.. and then so, to add a plot they add more characters. That's what I feel like.. like all the the plotlines at my old school, with all my friends are exhausted, so now in search for more story lines, they put me in a new atmosphere with new, exciting characters. And sure, it's inevitable. But it's just like when Jess and Rory break up on Gilmore Girls and then she goes to college. And everything's weird and different, but sort of the same in college. Or like on the OC, when Summer and Seth break up and then this new guy, Zach commands Summer's attention and the new rocker chick, Alex comes into the picture and steals Seth heart with her glitter and her stardust and bisexuality. The OC will never be as entertaining as it once was. The chemistry is gone. That won't happen to me, will it?
Or maybe it'll be better than it was before?
Even over the past 2 years, I've changed immeasurably. I remember like 2 years ago, sitting in my bedroom, writing in my journal about how in love I was, listening to Michelle Branch, reflecting.. and.. I had the strangest urge to go back. To sit and pour my emotions onto my blog and listen to the same music.. I love this song. I miss the love I felt at such a young age.. I miss dreaming. At some point, we have to open our eyes to the harsh light of reality. But maybe I wasn't ready yet. Just like, when something amazing and pretty happens (think Sethummer falling in love) and then you realize that it comes with all these billions of problems attached (think sail-away on a boat, "you only want me when you can't have me").. is it impossible to just crystalize and preserve the perfection of the moment? Can't you just be in love and be happy, without wondering what's happening next? Can't you enjoy a moment? Or is everything part of some plan, are we always and forever frantically looking forward and forgetting to live in the moment? I've been planning and thinking and analyzing for so long, thinking of where everything I do and everything I say will put me in the next year, in the next four years.. but what about now? I miss being young. I miss living my life.. instead of planning for the life I'll one-day lead. I've only loved once. But I remember, that.. when I was in that emotion, time was an eternity, life was in the second. Nothing in the past, nothing in the future. And all I want is that feeling again.. nothing not even reciprocation could be better, but I doubt it will come back.. we're in the fourth season, not the first. I miss feeling new.
I feel as if my life as a history book. I have no more renaissances or rebirths. I don't want to ever say something that reflects badly because I know I can never take anything back. My life is set into a stone. The things that I do, the things that I say are set in stone. I find it really hard to vocalize my emotions sometimes, because I know.. after I do, they'll be set in stone. Forever, it will be remembered as something I thought or something I felt. It scares me.

Sunday, September 04, 2005

Living is easy with eyes closed... Misunderstanding is all you see.. It's hard to be someone but it's not so bad.. it doesn't matter much to me. - Beatles

Okay.. all my life, I've been haunted by this single question mark. Why is it that people dislike each other? Answer: Because they don't understand why they do the things they do, why they think the way they think, etc, etc. But it all comes out to the fact that we don't get each other. Or don't want to.

But why is that? Because we live with our eyes closed. At least, that's what I think. I mean, let's face it. What we think is right, right? Right. Yeah that's right. We're too damn opinionated and stubborn for our own good. And that's all fine and dandy as long as we don't try to impose our views on others, but let's face it.. most people do. So, why is this? Why is there such a gap?

Is it because we don't want to know? Or is it that as people, we see eachother on such different spectrums that we don't even try? Is it that everyone's just too afraid to ask? Or to answer?
That's what I always wonder. Really. Aren't we all just the same? Don't we all want the same things? I really don't know.

It's a battle we always have to fight. Because someone is always not gonna wanna open up. And someone is always not gonna wanna listen.

Yeah. It should be so simple right?