Seeing a future for all that's in shreds, that's where all of my travels have led.
Monday, September 29, 2003
Thursday, September 25, 2003
Hello world. Well hello to anyone reading. Once again it's 11:37 central time and I'm writing in my blog. It feels cool. I'm going to make another blog just of my lists. Interesting. Forgive me. It's late. (That excuse is kind of wearing itself thin now, isn't it? Well, forgive me I'm weird.)
Do you wanna know what is really annoying? Ok so I'm walking into Choir. (Now, I don't actually take Choir due to bad management and lack of participation and the fact that nobody there is willing to work as a team. I prefer MYC (Madison Youth Choir) because the people there are actually serious and not just looking for a way to get out of playing an instrument or their mom made them take it. whatever. I mean no mother in their right mind would pay $300 a year for a choir their kid wouldn't participate in. Plus you have to audition to get in.
The only reason I had to go to Choir is because "I have a feeling that this choir will blossom and Mr. Cao is a really wonderful teacher! So do you think you could try it out, maybe today in tutorial. I can fix you're schedule," in the words of Mrs. Piper, our counselor. But my mom says they just need a strong voice in the choir to make the school look good. But I hated Choir last year. Why bring on an endless chain of harrassment and green-eyed classmates if it's not even worth it? I need my tutorials. (*Study hall* )
Okay, anyway I'm walking into Choir and someone who shall remain nameless went, in that tone of voice that says I-obviously-don't-want-you-to-be-in-this-choir-because of-how-you-made-us-all-look-bad-last-year-but-I'm-trying-to-pretend-like-I'm-being-polite-by-laughing-nervously, "You're (giggle) not (giggle) joining choir again, (giggle) are you?" I would've said,"Well, I wouldn't join this choir in a million years if I knew you were going to be in it." But then my best, Sarah says "She's just testing it out," and then mutters something to me; we laugh for a second.
But seriously I get that whole nervous laugh thing all the time. Mostly from my worst enemy. (Now she's not really my worst enemy, in fact she's kind of a friend, but we like to call each other worst enemies, because we're total opposites and well we don't like each others' beliefs. Basically, we're enemies but we have conscience when it matters. But sometimes she goes to me for help. Or rarely, if ever, vice versa.) I can understand if people don't like me, but being like that is really impolite. I would never do that even to she-who-annoys-me-more-than-my-brother-cloned-50-times. (sorry privacy must be protected, with enemies. This is the internet.) It's just mean!! And it makes you feel like, "well now I REALLY love this class." I mean if anyone who's done this is reading this, stop and think before you talk. Lots of decent people would rather not be in the class in with you, but don't express the opinion, because they don't want to be mean. If you do something mean like that, that just makes you the worse person. (That's me, trying to make a point, but kind of making it weird because I'm really really tired and am going to bed.)
Do you wanna know what is really annoying? Ok so I'm walking into Choir. (Now, I don't actually take Choir due to bad management and lack of participation and the fact that nobody there is willing to work as a team. I prefer MYC (Madison Youth Choir) because the people there are actually serious and not just looking for a way to get out of playing an instrument or their mom made them take it. whatever. I mean no mother in their right mind would pay $300 a year for a choir their kid wouldn't participate in. Plus you have to audition to get in.
The only reason I had to go to Choir is because "I have a feeling that this choir will blossom and Mr. Cao is a really wonderful teacher! So do you think you could try it out, maybe today in tutorial. I can fix you're schedule," in the words of Mrs. Piper, our counselor. But my mom says they just need a strong voice in the choir to make the school look good. But I hated Choir last year. Why bring on an endless chain of harrassment and green-eyed classmates if it's not even worth it? I need my tutorials. (*Study hall* )
Okay, anyway I'm walking into Choir and someone who shall remain nameless went, in that tone of voice that says I-obviously-don't-want-you-to-be-in-this-choir-because of-how-you-made-us-all-look-bad-last-year-but-I'm-trying-to-pretend-like-I'm-being-polite-by-laughing-nervously, "You're (giggle) not (giggle) joining choir again, (giggle) are you?" I would've said,"Well, I wouldn't join this choir in a million years if I knew you were going to be in it." But then my best, Sarah says "She's just testing it out," and then mutters something to me; we laugh for a second.
But seriously I get that whole nervous laugh thing all the time. Mostly from my worst enemy. (Now she's not really my worst enemy, in fact she's kind of a friend, but we like to call each other worst enemies, because we're total opposites and well we don't like each others' beliefs. Basically, we're enemies but we have conscience when it matters. But sometimes she goes to me for help. Or rarely, if ever, vice versa.) I can understand if people don't like me, but being like that is really impolite. I would never do that even to she-who-annoys-me-more-than-my-brother-cloned-50-times. (sorry privacy must be protected, with enemies. This is the internet.) It's just mean!! And it makes you feel like, "well now I REALLY love this class." I mean if anyone who's done this is reading this, stop and think before you talk. Lots of decent people would rather not be in the class in with you, but don't express the opinion, because they don't want to be mean. If you do something mean like that, that just makes you the worse person. (That's me, trying to make a point, but kind of making it weird because I'm really really tired and am going to bed.)
Wednesday, September 24, 2003
OMG!!!! The Starbucks Frappucino I had 6 hours ago is wearing off. I have to go to bed.. Sorry.. Don't ask. It feels good to type things and share my thoughts with the world. It's like I have a power. I'm not much for journals. Who wants to keep their lives totally secret?? The problem with diaries is that I always write stuff that I want the whole world to see but then where do I write personal stuff? Okay sorry.. it's late.
Today we're going to talk about everyones favorite subject. Ta-da! My Apparently Non-existent Love Life. Though I have not admitted to crushing on anyone at the moment (besides dear old Rupert Grint), there are a few people I have my eye on. I wouldn't call them crushes. Just those who are interesting enough to have caught my interest. But no one that I really haven't talked to. In fact, those who've I've specifically chosen are the ones who seemed to be interested in me. Even though to most that seems impossible. Don't start guessing though. My subtle interests or whatever you call them are not really obvious. I mean I'd have to tell you for you to really know. And some of them don't go to my school which is of importance to those people who make it their business to know mine. I really think I'm too young to be thinking about singling out anyone at the moment. But right now, I want to keep my options open. I won't restrict myself and I won't have a top 5.
Top five's are really really shallow.. no offense. (For those of you who don't know what a top 5 is, it's a list of guys or girls, guys if you're a girl, vice versa that you like and you rank them according to who you like better,) How degrading is that?
I would never go out with a guy who had a list that said what girl he would want to go out with after me. Who came up with this?
Anyway, though I won't put out who I'm interested in I will tell you that I'm interested in someone. But really if I talk about my personal life, I won't have one.
Top five's are really really shallow.. no offense. (For those of you who don't know what a top 5 is, it's a list of guys or girls, guys if you're a girl, vice versa that you like and you rank them according to who you like better,) How degrading is that?
I would never go out with a guy who had a list that said what girl he would want to go out with after me. Who came up with this?
Anyway, though I won't put out who I'm interested in I will tell you that I'm interested in someone. But really if I talk about my personal life, I won't have one.
Someone read my "little computer diary" and told me it was "umm.. intresting no offence" exact quote. I could point out all the grammatical ��������errors but I feel I don't need to. Needless to say that someone was well, okay at risk of sounding mean or egotistical, a prep. I really like what I write in here and I think that I've got a brilliant and vivid imagination. And really I write in this for me and not for my oh-so-loyal fans. But whatever.
It's impossible to please everyone. Unless you're like the Pope.
It's impossible to please everyone. Unless you're like the Pope.
Tuesday, September 23, 2003
People should not judge by age. Age does not tell about the maturity of someone. There can be a grandma with less wisdom than a 12-year-old. Yet no one cares..
If I were allowed to drink alcohol at my age (though I never would drink alcohol as it can be harmful), I so would not drink too much and get high. It's because there is a drinking age that people feel they should drink alcohol.. but nobody listens to me. Nobody thinks that someone of my age and stature could have any valuable thoughts. Because I am simply too young to understand. The world sucks.
If I were allowed to drink alcohol at my age (though I never would drink alcohol as it can be harmful), I so would not drink too much and get high. It's because there is a drinking age that people feel they should drink alcohol.. but nobody listens to me. Nobody thinks that someone of my age and stature could have any valuable thoughts. Because I am simply too young to understand. The world sucks.
The fish died.
I'm depressed now. I saw him floating there yesterday. All white. The new fish who will now be referred to as the evil ones gnawed at him. Why did we have to get new fish? He was happy by himself. When they came, he hid! Poor thing didn't have a chance. Think it might've had something to do with the entire "trial package" of fish food my dad emptied in the tank a little overenthusiastically. Poor little fishy. I'll miss you Casper.
I'm depressed now. I saw him floating there yesterday. All white. The new fish who will now be referred to as the evil ones gnawed at him. Why did we have to get new fish? He was happy by himself. When they came, he hid! Poor thing didn't have a chance. Think it might've had something to do with the entire "trial package" of fish food my dad emptied in the tank a little overenthusiastically. Poor little fishy. I'll miss you Casper.
Monday, September 22, 2003
We had to do a dream vacation thing for school so here's mine. It's very interesting.
My Dream Vacation
Day 1
1. Load my personal jet with all my friends for an unchaperoned trip to England. (This is my fantasy, so don’t expect it to make sense.)
2. Go on the plane for a pleasant ride, watching TV, reading magazines and talking in my beautifully furnished jet.
3. Arrive in London. Go to a grand hotel and get a wonderful suite with 5 beautifully furnished and spacious rooms and a fridge filled with- gasp!- free food.
4. Check what’s coming on Pay-Per-View and watch Pirates of the Caribbean with my best friend, Allie who’s totally in love with Orlando Bloom.
5. Go to sleep in beautiful canopy beds.
Day 2
1. Wake up at 9 am, feeling perfectly refreshed even though we stayed up late watching a movie.
2. Go shopping on the streets of London. (I’m a girl! You can’t expect me to go to another country and not shop!) Luckily, we know everything will fit so we don’t have to tediously try things on. My friends and I pick out lots of cool things. We find these cool flip books and inflatable chairs in this big store on Oxford Street (aka Shopping Central). We’re done shopping in a few hours.
3. We walk to Sainsbury’s and buy some sandwiches for a picnic and some candy for dessert. Are favorites are Nestle Aero bars and Haribo Gummy Mix. (If you’re ever in London, try them!) We have a nice little picnic in St. Andrews Park. We can see the Buckingham Palace from here.
4. We go on a double-decker tourist bus and see the sights. We eventually get off at Westminster Abbey. My friends all freak out when they see the coffins. Elvera keeps going on about evil spirits; she screeches about it until some elderly lady gives her a dirty look.
5. Go back to the hotel and swim in the pool. Then get ready for dinner.
6. Go to dinner at a small Indian restaurant with delicious food.
Day 3
1. Go on London taxi to Parliament. We are on the Tower Bridge and the Queen’s carriage approaches and all traffic is stopped as a royal-looking carriage passes by. We all kind of freak out, well cause she’s the Queen! But then suddenly the carriage swerves and her Majesty the Queen falls out of the carriage and is rolled across the bridge. My friends and I all jump out of the car and run to help the Queen as she struggles to get up and then falls off the bridge! Elvera takes a heroic leap off of the bridge. She lands in the water, but is temporarily stunned and starts sinking. Norah (the swimmer of our group) jumps in the water and with the help of a nice stranger on a motorbike sustains her. They try to sustain the Queen but alas, she’s is too heavy. Sorry your Majesty. Sarah sets the camera on the railing as she and Jessica (track-star of our group) run for help. Allie and I look down at the river frantically. We realize what we have to do (psychic connection- it is so freaky) and we jump in and try as hard as we can to sustain the Queen who’s almost unconscious.
A moment later, we’re joined by Sarah who must’ve come back to help. She is a huge help.
A few long minutes later, a rescue boat arrives and pulls us in. Jessica is on deck, looking frantic, yet relieved as she hugs us. (She doesn’t hug the Queen who is being recessitated.)
When the Queen comes to, she smiles sweetly and invites us to tea.
2. We get cleaned up and go to tea with the Queen. Someone picked up Sarah’s video camera (which was recording when she set it down) and gave it to a police man and we watch the film. (Sarah has this thing about filming car windows.) We watched ourselves struggling in the water. The Queen is very grateful to us (and the nice motorbike guy, Joe) and wants to know how she can repay us. I start to tell her that she doesn’t have to give us anything and that we were happy just to help when Jessica, Allie and Sarah pull me aside. Jessica kindly asks,“Are you nuts Aarushi?!”
“This is the Queen, Aarushi!” says Sarah, exasperatedly.
“I wanna meet Orlando!” says Allie.
We decide that we want to meet the cast of the Harry Potter. Her majesty thinks it can be arranged.
3. We come out of the palace, totally psyched. We take the tube to Guildhall (an acting school that Allie’s obsessed with just because Orlando “Orli” went there). We stand outside and we’re all gawking at it. Then Jessica and Sarah push us all in. We walk inside and it’s beautifully decorated. We get some papers that tell all the boring stuff about the school, when we hear a booming British voice. A man with black curly hair walks into the hallway with a man who is obviously a teacher. The man is talking about coming to visit teachers that inspire him. Allie automatically starts to fall but we all support her and keep her standing. Orlando Bloom was standing in the doorway chatting with (obviously) an old teacher of his. Allie just stood there watching for 5 minutes as the teacher was going back to his duties. Elvera looks at me and then looks at Allie and says,”Oh please, child!” She walks up to Orlando full confidence and says,”My friend over there is in love with you. Go say hi!” Orlando looks slightly taken aback. (People usually look taken aback when they first meet Elvera.) He walks over obligingly.
“Hello...” says Orlando. He looks quite nervous.
“Um.. hi..” says Allie, coming to her senses, “Can I get an autograph?” We get pictures and stuff. We get some pictures with Sarah too. Then I get a cell phone call from one of the Queen’s servants telling me that a car is coming to pick us up to go to the Buckingham Palace to meet the cast of the Harry Potter movie. We bid goodbye to Orlando, (we have to drag Allie,) and make our way back to the palace.
4. We arrive at the palace and are allowed in by the guards in front. There are so many reporters trying to talk to us but we’re all being shepherded in, which is a great disappointment to Elvera and Sarah. We rush into the palace and see it but can’t really believe it. The whole cast of Harry Potter! There stood Emma Watson (Hermione), Daniel Radcliffe (Harry Potter), Rupert Grint (Ron) and so many more. We chat for a while about the saving the Queen and things. We get lots of pictures. I got Tom Felton’s (Draco) autograph for a friend of mine, back home. We hit it off really well with Rupert who Allie admits is way cuter in person. Norah and Emma stand next to each other and they actually do look alike. I even get a picture with Alan Rickman (Snape) just to be dangerous. Elvera keeps asking why she wasn’t in the movie. Jessica gets it all on tape.
5. We reach the end of our trip. Her majesty was nice enough to get her servants to load our jet for us. She welcomes us back to England anytime and hopes we don’t get into too much trouble.
My Dream Vacation
Day 1
1. Load my personal jet with all my friends for an unchaperoned trip to England. (This is my fantasy, so don’t expect it to make sense.)
2. Go on the plane for a pleasant ride, watching TV, reading magazines and talking in my beautifully furnished jet.
3. Arrive in London. Go to a grand hotel and get a wonderful suite with 5 beautifully furnished and spacious rooms and a fridge filled with- gasp!- free food.
4. Check what’s coming on Pay-Per-View and watch Pirates of the Caribbean with my best friend, Allie who’s totally in love with Orlando Bloom.
5. Go to sleep in beautiful canopy beds.
Day 2
1. Wake up at 9 am, feeling perfectly refreshed even though we stayed up late watching a movie.
2. Go shopping on the streets of London. (I’m a girl! You can’t expect me to go to another country and not shop!) Luckily, we know everything will fit so we don’t have to tediously try things on. My friends and I pick out lots of cool things. We find these cool flip books and inflatable chairs in this big store on Oxford Street (aka Shopping Central). We’re done shopping in a few hours.
3. We walk to Sainsbury’s and buy some sandwiches for a picnic and some candy for dessert. Are favorites are Nestle Aero bars and Haribo Gummy Mix. (If you’re ever in London, try them!) We have a nice little picnic in St. Andrews Park. We can see the Buckingham Palace from here.
4. We go on a double-decker tourist bus and see the sights. We eventually get off at Westminster Abbey. My friends all freak out when they see the coffins. Elvera keeps going on about evil spirits; she screeches about it until some elderly lady gives her a dirty look.
5. Go back to the hotel and swim in the pool. Then get ready for dinner.
6. Go to dinner at a small Indian restaurant with delicious food.
Day 3
1. Go on London taxi to Parliament. We are on the Tower Bridge and the Queen’s carriage approaches and all traffic is stopped as a royal-looking carriage passes by. We all kind of freak out, well cause she’s the Queen! But then suddenly the carriage swerves and her Majesty the Queen falls out of the carriage and is rolled across the bridge. My friends and I all jump out of the car and run to help the Queen as she struggles to get up and then falls off the bridge! Elvera takes a heroic leap off of the bridge. She lands in the water, but is temporarily stunned and starts sinking. Norah (the swimmer of our group) jumps in the water and with the help of a nice stranger on a motorbike sustains her. They try to sustain the Queen but alas, she’s is too heavy. Sorry your Majesty. Sarah sets the camera on the railing as she and Jessica (track-star of our group) run for help. Allie and I look down at the river frantically. We realize what we have to do (psychic connection- it is so freaky) and we jump in and try as hard as we can to sustain the Queen who’s almost unconscious.
A moment later, we’re joined by Sarah who must’ve come back to help. She is a huge help.
A few long minutes later, a rescue boat arrives and pulls us in. Jessica is on deck, looking frantic, yet relieved as she hugs us. (She doesn’t hug the Queen who is being recessitated.)
When the Queen comes to, she smiles sweetly and invites us to tea.
2. We get cleaned up and go to tea with the Queen. Someone picked up Sarah’s video camera (which was recording when she set it down) and gave it to a police man and we watch the film. (Sarah has this thing about filming car windows.) We watched ourselves struggling in the water. The Queen is very grateful to us (and the nice motorbike guy, Joe) and wants to know how she can repay us. I start to tell her that she doesn’t have to give us anything and that we were happy just to help when Jessica, Allie and Sarah pull me aside. Jessica kindly asks,“Are you nuts Aarushi?!”
“This is the Queen, Aarushi!” says Sarah, exasperatedly.
“I wanna meet Orlando!” says Allie.
We decide that we want to meet the cast of the Harry Potter. Her majesty thinks it can be arranged.
3. We come out of the palace, totally psyched. We take the tube to Guildhall (an acting school that Allie’s obsessed with just because Orlando “Orli” went there). We stand outside and we’re all gawking at it. Then Jessica and Sarah push us all in. We walk inside and it’s beautifully decorated. We get some papers that tell all the boring stuff about the school, when we hear a booming British voice. A man with black curly hair walks into the hallway with a man who is obviously a teacher. The man is talking about coming to visit teachers that inspire him. Allie automatically starts to fall but we all support her and keep her standing. Orlando Bloom was standing in the doorway chatting with (obviously) an old teacher of his. Allie just stood there watching for 5 minutes as the teacher was going back to his duties. Elvera looks at me and then looks at Allie and says,”Oh please, child!” She walks up to Orlando full confidence and says,”My friend over there is in love with you. Go say hi!” Orlando looks slightly taken aback. (People usually look taken aback when they first meet Elvera.) He walks over obligingly.
“Hello...” says Orlando. He looks quite nervous.
“Um.. hi..” says Allie, coming to her senses, “Can I get an autograph?” We get pictures and stuff. We get some pictures with Sarah too. Then I get a cell phone call from one of the Queen’s servants telling me that a car is coming to pick us up to go to the Buckingham Palace to meet the cast of the Harry Potter movie. We bid goodbye to Orlando, (we have to drag Allie,) and make our way back to the palace.
4. We arrive at the palace and are allowed in by the guards in front. There are so many reporters trying to talk to us but we’re all being shepherded in, which is a great disappointment to Elvera and Sarah. We rush into the palace and see it but can’t really believe it. The whole cast of Harry Potter! There stood Emma Watson (Hermione), Daniel Radcliffe (Harry Potter), Rupert Grint (Ron) and so many more. We chat for a while about the saving the Queen and things. We get lots of pictures. I got Tom Felton’s (Draco) autograph for a friend of mine, back home. We hit it off really well with Rupert who Allie admits is way cuter in person. Norah and Emma stand next to each other and they actually do look alike. I even get a picture with Alan Rickman (Snape) just to be dangerous. Elvera keeps asking why she wasn’t in the movie. Jessica gets it all on tape.
5. We reach the end of our trip. Her majesty was nice enough to get her servants to load our jet for us. She welcomes us back to England anytime and hopes we don’t get into too much trouble.
I'm not in the emotional state right now to be able to piece together sentences. I'm sorry so I'm going to quickly allert you on my state at the moment.
age: 12
feeling: very ill... sore throat, bodyache, that constant feeling that you're going to sneeze.. you know the feeling..
emotional state: not in the best mood.. since i have lost my voice and am now more squeaky than my brother trying to learn to play a plastic recorder. listening to music depresses me as i can only think, i used to be able to sing like that.
physical state: must brush teeth. It is now 2:46 pm and school (conveniently located behind my house) will let out in 45 minutes and I'm not ready to be seen by the public eye. I'm ashamed. I haven't even had lunch.
hair: tangled mess.. it would be much more appealing if it were tangled up in blue. at least something would be cool about it.. never mind
feet: so freakin cold and resting on the hard drive. damn basement.
wishing: i was in school, fully clothed and enjoying my last period of the day (gym) with my friend allie. Allie is angry with me because of my lack of being able to tell her personal information at risk that she might accidentally let it slip. It's not that I don't trust her. Truth be told I would rather tell her. But... I feel I should keep it to myself at the moment.
loving: my new mp3 player, it's no iPod but I feel that I should earn one. I don't need to have 5000 songs in my pocket just yet. I could've asked for one.. but that seems like I'm a gold digger.. I think papa felt sorry for me because I was sick. My MP3 player is so cool. I went downstairs right away to make an Mp3 cd on the Mac OS X, which is way better than the iMac..
Whatever.. I'm not in the mood to write anymore.
age: 12
feeling: very ill... sore throat, bodyache, that constant feeling that you're going to sneeze.. you know the feeling..
emotional state: not in the best mood.. since i have lost my voice and am now more squeaky than my brother trying to learn to play a plastic recorder. listening to music depresses me as i can only think, i used to be able to sing like that.
physical state: must brush teeth. It is now 2:46 pm and school (conveniently located behind my house) will let out in 45 minutes and I'm not ready to be seen by the public eye. I'm ashamed. I haven't even had lunch.
hair: tangled mess.. it would be much more appealing if it were tangled up in blue. at least something would be cool about it.. never mind
feet: so freakin cold and resting on the hard drive. damn basement.
wishing: i was in school, fully clothed and enjoying my last period of the day (gym) with my friend allie. Allie is angry with me because of my lack of being able to tell her personal information at risk that she might accidentally let it slip. It's not that I don't trust her. Truth be told I would rather tell her. But... I feel I should keep it to myself at the moment.
loving: my new mp3 player, it's no iPod but I feel that I should earn one. I don't need to have 5000 songs in my pocket just yet. I could've asked for one.. but that seems like I'm a gold digger.. I think papa felt sorry for me because I was sick. My MP3 player is so cool. I went downstairs right away to make an Mp3 cd on the Mac OS X, which is way better than the iMac..
Whatever.. I'm not in the mood to write anymore.
Saturday, September 20, 2003
You know it's about 2:30 AM my time and I'm sitting at my computer starting a blog. I don't even know why. In the backround I hear the loud Indian channel and a very enthusiastic voiceover talking very loudly about what a wonderful channel it is. My mother and father are of course, asleep. But I know that if I dare turn off the TV they will wake up and scream and shout about me staying up too late when I'm already ill. I slept for 3 hours this morning (stayed home from school)! How can they expect me to keep perfect hours? when they don't.. The world is so full of hypocrites.
For example, I was talking to this girl and she was talking about how she doesn't base everything on looks. One mutter of a guy and it's a sudden, "You can't like him! He's not hot!" Then she says she's not a hypocrite therefore proving furthermore that she is one. Then she talks about how awful someone else is. It's so funny how you can talk about someone and show no mercy but if it's you, you get all defensive! I always try to consider different sides of every story before opening my (very big) mouth.
I guess the reason I wanted to have a blog is that I can talk all I want. Speak my mind. Nobody can censor me!!!!! I got the POWER!!!
Sorry..
It's strange, but I do all of my thinking at night. Even in the summer when I have nothing to think about and all the time in the world to think.
I HATE summer! All my friends go off to foreign countries or just New York for vacation and I'm stuck at home. Alone. (Okay I did a summer drama class and a day long babysitting course and maybe my friends weren't unavailable the entire summer but I tell you it was torture!) All the interesting people filled their calendar's with interesting things. Leaving me with a nearly empty social calendar and nothing to do except envy those preps who, though aren't interesting, at least have SOME (really annoying and pretensious) people to hang out with. I swear I was that desperate.
I did get a lot of thinking done over the summer. I mean you're sitting in an empty room with nothing to do. Watching TV makes you feel like you have no life. Magazines make you jealous. Computer makes you seem like you're isolated and far far away from the outside world.. Depressing. So you think. Since nothing's really happening. You go over all your memories. You laugh and you cry and you feel enlightened. You figure things out. You look at things in a different light. You realize how seriously screwed up the world is. And you want to start again.
I think I came back to school this year, a lot more put together. More confident. Willing to dodge every rock that was thrown at me. I mean I'd rather be back at school (which is full of annoying conformists who think you're worse than the dirt they pick out from under their perfect nails) than at home. That thought comforts me. And scares the hell out of me.
I just sneezed on the keyboard. God I got something nasty. My throat is as dry as a freakin desert and will not be helped by water. I should get some sleep.
Sometimes I wish I wasn't a slightly abnormal american (well originally from india) teenager. I wish I was a child star or a prima donna or a princess or an adventurer who lives in africa.. something different.. something cool. Something far far away from here. Far away from the drab of an ordinary life. I'd rather eat grasshoppers than live here.. I wanna be out there learning, experiencing, sharing my knowledge with the world. I'm not a sit down person. I'm an action kind of person.
I can't wait to fall in love, even if only for a little while. To feel a sense of belonging. To be loved. I can't wait to have another crush. To feel the glow that your crush is actually laughing with you. I'm young. I shouldn't be thinking about these things.. but oh how I wish.
I'm different. Yet the same. I'm just like everyone else, but different. I see things differently. I talk differently. I pay more attention and I look at things more closely. What if I hadn't read Harry Potter? Would I have been the same person? Would I have looked the same? I think that's the reason why half the world thinks I'm the strangest person who ever walked the planet. Because in a way I sort of am. I don't know. It's late.
A lot of people think I'm more different than I actually am. They sometimes think I don't like the same kind of TV or listen to the same music. (well the same station, I hate that annoying selling drugs and sex music.. damn music industry.) They think that when I get home I sit around reading science textbooks. I sit around and watch tv when I get home. It doesn't occur to them that if you look at things more closely if you pay more attention you come to a mental state that can be described as me. I swear half of them think that there isn't more to life then dating and music and hanging out.
Some people think that I'm a goody-two-shoes teacher's pet perfect girl. I'm not! I swear! I ditch studying, I hated my sixth grade teacher and I would never wear mary janes. I'm not saying that I'm a bad girl. I'm just saying that I speak my mind. If the teacher is cool, I'll like her and I'll be nice to her. I get good grades because I'm smart. I raise my hand because there is such a thing as a participation grade. I do read lots of books. Comedy books, horror books and Harry Potter. Not the dictionary of quantum physics (what is/are quantum physics? I heard a mention on TV before but I have no clue.. I'm guessing it has something to do with physics).
I swear all people do is judge. They never stop and take a double take. Someone once told me that I am "quite a character." I never really knew what that meant until this stage of life. I'm not your average kid with headphones on a bus. I'm the kid who's singing so loud, the busdriver's now deaf. In a manner of speaking of course. He never was deaf. But I did get a lot of complaints.
THe fact is I'm different. I think when god was handing out quirks he gave me a few hundred too many. You can hate me, you can shun me. Or you can embrace the fact that I'm not normal as every other person is. You can call me amazing, you can call me weird. I'm both of those things and lots more. I'm still gonna be me. (after school special ending. what can i say? it's late.)
Feeling of the moment: liberated
Theme song of the moment: Me vs. World by the Halo Friendlies, Take me Away by Christina Vidal
wearing: pink cami that i got in india, angel pants
For example, I was talking to this girl and she was talking about how she doesn't base everything on looks. One mutter of a guy and it's a sudden, "You can't like him! He's not hot!" Then she says she's not a hypocrite therefore proving furthermore that she is one. Then she talks about how awful someone else is. It's so funny how you can talk about someone and show no mercy but if it's you, you get all defensive! I always try to consider different sides of every story before opening my (very big) mouth.
I guess the reason I wanted to have a blog is that I can talk all I want. Speak my mind. Nobody can censor me!!!!! I got the POWER!!!
Sorry..
It's strange, but I do all of my thinking at night. Even in the summer when I have nothing to think about and all the time in the world to think.
I HATE summer! All my friends go off to foreign countries or just New York for vacation and I'm stuck at home. Alone. (Okay I did a summer drama class and a day long babysitting course and maybe my friends weren't unavailable the entire summer but I tell you it was torture!) All the interesting people filled their calendar's with interesting things. Leaving me with a nearly empty social calendar and nothing to do except envy those preps who, though aren't interesting, at least have SOME (really annoying and pretensious) people to hang out with. I swear I was that desperate.
I did get a lot of thinking done over the summer. I mean you're sitting in an empty room with nothing to do. Watching TV makes you feel like you have no life. Magazines make you jealous. Computer makes you seem like you're isolated and far far away from the outside world.. Depressing. So you think. Since nothing's really happening. You go over all your memories. You laugh and you cry and you feel enlightened. You figure things out. You look at things in a different light. You realize how seriously screwed up the world is. And you want to start again.
I think I came back to school this year, a lot more put together. More confident. Willing to dodge every rock that was thrown at me. I mean I'd rather be back at school (which is full of annoying conformists who think you're worse than the dirt they pick out from under their perfect nails) than at home. That thought comforts me. And scares the hell out of me.
I just sneezed on the keyboard. God I got something nasty. My throat is as dry as a freakin desert and will not be helped by water. I should get some sleep.
Sometimes I wish I wasn't a slightly abnormal american (well originally from india) teenager. I wish I was a child star or a prima donna or a princess or an adventurer who lives in africa.. something different.. something cool. Something far far away from here. Far away from the drab of an ordinary life. I'd rather eat grasshoppers than live here.. I wanna be out there learning, experiencing, sharing my knowledge with the world. I'm not a sit down person. I'm an action kind of person.
I can't wait to fall in love, even if only for a little while. To feel a sense of belonging. To be loved. I can't wait to have another crush. To feel the glow that your crush is actually laughing with you. I'm young. I shouldn't be thinking about these things.. but oh how I wish.
I'm different. Yet the same. I'm just like everyone else, but different. I see things differently. I talk differently. I pay more attention and I look at things more closely. What if I hadn't read Harry Potter? Would I have been the same person? Would I have looked the same? I think that's the reason why half the world thinks I'm the strangest person who ever walked the planet. Because in a way I sort of am. I don't know. It's late.
A lot of people think I'm more different than I actually am. They sometimes think I don't like the same kind of TV or listen to the same music. (well the same station, I hate that annoying selling drugs and sex music.. damn music industry.) They think that when I get home I sit around reading science textbooks. I sit around and watch tv when I get home. It doesn't occur to them that if you look at things more closely if you pay more attention you come to a mental state that can be described as me. I swear half of them think that there isn't more to life then dating and music and hanging out.
Some people think that I'm a goody-two-shoes teacher's pet perfect girl. I'm not! I swear! I ditch studying, I hated my sixth grade teacher and I would never wear mary janes. I'm not saying that I'm a bad girl. I'm just saying that I speak my mind. If the teacher is cool, I'll like her and I'll be nice to her. I get good grades because I'm smart. I raise my hand because there is such a thing as a participation grade. I do read lots of books. Comedy books, horror books and Harry Potter. Not the dictionary of quantum physics (what is/are quantum physics? I heard a mention on TV before but I have no clue.. I'm guessing it has something to do with physics).
I swear all people do is judge. They never stop and take a double take. Someone once told me that I am "quite a character." I never really knew what that meant until this stage of life. I'm not your average kid with headphones on a bus. I'm the kid who's singing so loud, the busdriver's now deaf. In a manner of speaking of course. He never was deaf. But I did get a lot of complaints.
THe fact is I'm different. I think when god was handing out quirks he gave me a few hundred too many. You can hate me, you can shun me. Or you can embrace the fact that I'm not normal as every other person is. You can call me amazing, you can call me weird. I'm both of those things and lots more. I'm still gonna be me. (after school special ending. what can i say? it's late.)
Feeling of the moment: liberated
Theme song of the moment: Me vs. World by the Halo Friendlies, Take me Away by Christina Vidal
wearing: pink cami that i got in india, angel pants
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