Friday, December 26, 2003


Whatcha’ doin’ tonight
I wish I could be a fly on your wall
Are you really alone
Still in your dreams
Why can't I bring you into my life
What would it take to make you see that I'm alive

If I was invisible
Then I could just watch you in your room
If I was invincible
I'd make you mine tonight
If hearts were unbreakable
Then I could just tell you where I stand
I would be the smartest man
If I was invisible
(Wait..I already am)

I saw your face in the crowd
I called out your name
You don't hear a sound
I keep tracing your steps
Each move that you make
Wish I could read what goes through your mind
Wish you could touch me with the colors of your life

Wow, thank you Clay Aiken for that very moving piece. See, if every guy were that sincere, the world would be a better place. Clay is an example for mankind. There's a reason that many girls would give anything to be his girlfriend. It's not because of his looks. It's because he is a man among men. And you know what the best part is? He was a nerd in high school. Gonna make someone sad she turned him down for the prom, huh?

Friday, December 05, 2003

Today I was told that I don't understand. That I'll never understand. Because I don't know. But the fact is everyone understands what happens deep down. Everyone feels the same. When your heart is broken, when you lose a friend, when a loved one dies. When you've been rejected, when someone just doesn't care.
That feeling like you're floating on air when you link eyes with him in the hall. The falling of when you're alone and scared. The suffering of when you've been hurt. We've all felt it. We all understand.
Everyone feels the same way, whether you're the most popular person or a lonely and unnoticed outsider. Us, human beings share the same kind of bond, no matter how different we are. We've all been hurt. It's how you deal with it that makes you different. It's how you deal with it that proves who you really are.
Okay, it's December. The "most wonderful time of the year". Oh come on. Exactly what's wonderful about it? You get presents. You get days off school. So? What's the real point of the holidays? How many people really go to church on Christmas? But, I know it's none of my business what people do on Christmas, but what I don't like is how the schools are decorated. Santa Clauses, mini Christmas trees, reindeer... Sorry, but not everyone celebrates it. A school is a place of learning. It's not a place where Einstein is wearing a Santa Claus hat and Frida Kahlo's a character from Dr. Seuss.
Okay, I'll tell the truth. I do celebrate Christmas and I enjoy Christmas music. But I'm equally interested in the celebration of Channukah, Kwanzaa, Diwali (my holiday) and others. But the whole Christmas spirit thing is way overblown. But you can have Christmas spirit! Decorate your homes, eat candy canes, spread tinsel for all I care. But a public learning institution should not be biased towards a certain religion or culture. I mean for God's sake, there are huge Christmas trees in the capitol, the Rockafeller Plaza and everywhere else. It simply isn't fair for a government building to show favoritism among holidays and such. Or if they do feel the need to display their religion, it would be nice if they represented other religions as well. So many Christmas decorations and holiday symbols may make a young child feel less confident about admitting their religion if they are not a Christmas celebrating religion.
The problem is that America is a mainly Christian country and those who aren't are in minority. Therefore, influential areas, like schools, feel that it is okay to display religious icons (not speaking of Jesus figurines, but Christmas symbols such as Santa Clauses and such), though it does not give voice to the minorities in the area. For goodness sake, they made us go see Elf as a reward for doing well. I'm not saying that it was not an enjoyable movie, but it is the principle that is more important. I, therefore conclude that the school would be a less biased religiously and commercial if the school put up winter decorations, but not that of Christmas, because you come to school to be taught in Academics and other necessary areas, but choice of religion should not be influenced by schools.

Friday, October 10, 2003


The ULTIMATE personality test
brought to you by Quizilla proof that i'm not the only one who thinks i see things that others don't.
12:30 You know, you think you know someone. But then they say or do something seriously unpredictable. There really is more to people than meets the eye.
You go around thinking, They'll never know how I feel. They've never been through this. or you might even think something egotistical. I'm probably the wisest person in this place, because I've been through a lot. Sometimes it might be true. Maybe you are the wisest person in the room. Or maybe they'll never know what you feel like.
You never really stop to think about other peoples' lives. You automatically assume that they're nothing like you or unable to relate. That they've never been through pain. You look at someone from the outside and judge them on the way they act towards you. On the way they look and act right now.
I bet if everyone knew everyone's ulterior motives, they wouldn't think that what they did is so bad.
That's why it really hurts me when someone says, "I've been through a lot more than you have," or "You couldn't possibly know how I feel." How do you know?
Everyone has a past. Everyone has been through pain. It may be the pain of being made fun of for something you can't control. It could be that a loved-one died.
A point that someone made to me was,"You've never had anyone blood-related to you die," What does blood mean, anyway? Why should I have to be blood-related to someone to feel pain if they're gone? I love someone because of who they are and what they do. Not because of their relation.
Today, my friends were depressed because of their lost grandfathers. They kept telling me how I couldn't relate because I haven't lost a grandfather. But I have. He may be alive, but he's not the grandfather I used to have.
My grandfather has a degenerative illness. Most of my family thinks he's depressed. And no one hates it more than I do. I want the grandfather I can talk to and love. Not the grandfather who sits at home all day in bed and fusses whenever someone leaves the house and never goes outside. I think that's just a little bit more painful than having a wonderful grandfather just die. My grandfather used to be wonderful. But now he's in a vegetable state. And everyday, I hope and pray that he'll get better and be happy again. I feel so left out that everyone else has their dad's dad talk to you about what he was like when he was a kid and read you stories. And play with you. But I never had that. I kind of wish that he had died earlier, but had his right state of mind. Then, at least I would have some memories with him.
I wish I could've known him. I wish I could have an intelligent conversation with him and known what he was like. I knew he was a wonderful person. I've listened to tapes of him before he got sick.
Before he got sick. He was a wonderful person before he got sick. He used to chase after my sister on her bike. He didn't know me as me. He knew the little darling baby. "You really have to send us some tapes of our little darling, Aarushi singing. She has such a lovely voice." I heard that on the tape. He also mentioned something about my Dadi (dad's mom) writing her own music and him accompanying her and maybe representing her in a few years. In a few years he got sick.
It just kills me that he had imagined a happy life and ended up in bed. Isolated at home. I just wish it hadn't happened. I mean why him? Why me? I can ask that question forever, but he'll never be the same..

Saturday, October 04, 2003

Here I am. I just super-surfed the internet while i was supposed to be researching common houseflies. Forgive me god. It is now 12:00 pm and I have no idea how it became that way. Time flies.
I just wanted to clarify something. I don't hate preps (and/or conformists depending on the situation). I just hate what they represent. I mean I've observed them.
Around the opposite sex they're very very disgustingly flirty. And I cannot stand that. I'm not antisocial and I have be known to flirt. But flirting is like a job for them. And the way they act is really pretensious. There life has no meaning. They just exist, day-by-day. It's all about routine and the gossip and I'm going out with this guy right now but I'm gonna break up with him within the next week. I mean they never truly know each other, because they don't show their true feelings and opinions. I say the word "adept" to a prep and they say "English please!"
I hate how they judge people. They say one word to someone and have a formed opinion. And I've noticed that most preps are the "more attractive" individuals. I've heard them judging others.
To the untrained eye, preps seem like an amazing group of gifted people. How did they get there? Why were they so blessed? I wish I could be like them! But to become "one of them" you have to agree with the group. If you go against the system, you're out. You upset one person. You upset everyone.
I really hate the fact that they automatically go against diversity. I'm not talking about racial diversity. I'm talking about individual diversity. Like they go against me, because I'm different. There are people who I've never said more than two words to talking behind my back. And they call themselves human.
They (speaking in general;there are exceptions) think that just because someone is mean to them, they can be mean right back. They think that just because someone does something differently or looks a certain way gives them license to ridicule. Like take this girl lets just call her uh, J. She is really depressed because she has no friends. They think that because she has occasional emotional melt-downs that they can insult her looks. And do pranks on her. And call her names. And purposely try and make her mad. Do they have any compassion?
And lastly, (because I have to go to bed) they don't see themselves. They don't see how they act. So when they get in trouble for their actions, they blame it on someone else. No, it's the teacher that's mean. Take this guy named well for this purpose, Stuart D. Now Stuart talks in class. I'm talking major disruptions. All the time. He gets about 20 warnings per class period, until finally, poor teacher gives up and hands him a detention. Then he gets all pissy at the teacher. I mean feel bad for the teacher here. I know Stuart was trying to impress people, by being unbearably stupid, but there are other ways.
Sorry for the misspelling and punctuation and grammar errors. It's late and I'm tired.

Monday, September 29, 2003

I made a new blog called Aarushi's Freaky Little Lists and the URL is I'm not really in the mood to write so, Au revoir.

Thursday, September 25, 2003

Hello world. Well hello to anyone reading. Once again it's 11:37 central time and I'm writing in my blog. It feels cool. I'm going to make another blog just of my lists. Interesting. Forgive me. It's late. (That excuse is kind of wearing itself thin now, isn't it? Well, forgive me I'm weird.)

Do you wanna know what is really annoying? Ok so I'm walking into Choir. (Now, I don't actually take Choir due to bad management and lack of participation and the fact that nobody there is willing to work as a team. I prefer MYC (Madison Youth Choir) because the people there are actually serious and not just looking for a way to get out of playing an instrument or their mom made them take it. whatever. I mean no mother in their right mind would pay $300 a year for a choir their kid wouldn't participate in. Plus you have to audition to get in.
The only reason I had to go to Choir is because "I have a feeling that this choir will blossom and Mr. Cao is a really wonderful teacher! So do you think you could try it out, maybe today in tutorial. I can fix you're schedule," in the words of Mrs. Piper, our counselor. But my mom says they just need a strong voice in the choir to make the school look good. But I hated Choir last year. Why bring on an endless chain of harrassment and green-eyed classmates if it's not even worth it? I need my tutorials. (*Study hall* )
Okay, anyway I'm walking into Choir and someone who shall remain nameless went, in that tone of voice that says I-obviously-don't-want-you-to-be-in-this-choir-because of-how-you-made-us-all-look-bad-last-year-but-I'm-trying-to-pretend-like-I'm-being-polite-by-laughing-nervously, "You're (giggle) not (giggle) joining choir again, (giggle) are you?" I would've said,"Well, I wouldn't join this choir in a million years if I knew you were going to be in it." But then my best, Sarah says "She's just testing it out," and then mutters something to me; we laugh for a second.
But seriously I get that whole nervous laugh thing all the time. Mostly from my worst enemy. (Now she's not really my worst enemy, in fact she's kind of a friend, but we like to call each other worst enemies, because we're total opposites and well we don't like each others' beliefs. Basically, we're enemies but we have conscience when it matters. But sometimes she goes to me for help. Or rarely, if ever, vice versa.) I can understand if people don't like me, but being like that is really impolite. I would never do that even to she-who-annoys-me-more-than-my-brother-cloned-50-times. (sorry privacy must be protected, with enemies. This is the internet.) It's just mean!! And it makes you feel like, "well now I REALLY love this class." I mean if anyone who's done this is reading this, stop and think before you talk. Lots of decent people would rather not be in the class in with you, but don't express the opinion, because they don't want to be mean. If you do something mean like that, that just makes you the worse person. (That's me, trying to make a point, but kind of making it weird because I'm really really tired and am going to bed.)

Wednesday, September 24, 2003

OMG!!!! The Starbucks Frappucino I had 6 hours ago is wearing off. I have to go to bed.. Sorry.. Don't ask. It feels good to type things and share my thoughts with the world. It's like I have a power. I'm not much for journals. Who wants to keep their lives totally secret?? The problem with diaries is that I always write stuff that I want the whole world to see but then where do I write personal stuff? Okay sorry.. it's late.
Today we're going to talk about everyones favorite subject. Ta-da! My Apparently Non-existent Love Life. Though I have not admitted to crushing on anyone at the moment (besides dear old Rupert Grint), there are a few people I have my eye on. I wouldn't call them crushes. Just those who are interesting enough to have caught my interest. But no one that I really haven't talked to. In fact, those who've I've specifically chosen are the ones who seemed to be interested in me. Even though to most that seems impossible. Don't start guessing though. My subtle interests or whatever you call them are not really obvious. I mean I'd have to tell you for you to really know. And some of them don't go to my school which is of importance to those people who make it their business to know mine. I really think I'm too young to be thinking about singling out anyone at the moment. But right now, I want to keep my options open. I won't restrict myself and I won't have a top 5.
Top five's are really really shallow.. no offense. (For those of you who don't know what a top 5 is, it's a list of guys or girls, guys if you're a girl, vice versa that you like and you rank them according to who you like better,) How degrading is that?
I would never go out with a guy who had a list that said what girl he would want to go out with after me. Who came up with this?
Anyway, though I won't put out who I'm interested in I will tell you that I'm interested in someone. But really if I talk about my personal life, I won't have one.

Someone read my "little computer diary" and told me it was "umm.. intresting no offence" exact quote. I could point out all the grammatical ��������errors but I feel I don't need to. Needless to say that someone was well, okay at risk of sounding mean or egotistical, a prep. I really like what I write in here and I think that I've got a brilliant and vivid imagination. And really I write in this for me and not for my oh-so-loyal fans. But whatever.
It's impossible to please everyone. Unless you're like the Pope.

Tuesday, September 23, 2003

People should not judge by age. Age does not tell about the maturity of someone. There can be a grandma with less wisdom than a 12-year-old. Yet no one cares..
If I were allowed to drink alcohol at my age (though I never would drink alcohol as it can be harmful), I so would not drink too much and get high. It's because there is a drinking age that people feel they should drink alcohol.. but nobody listens to me. Nobody thinks that someone of my age and stature could have any valuable thoughts. Because I am simply too young to understand. The world sucks.
The fish died.
I'm depressed now. I saw him floating there yesterday. All white. The new fish who will now be referred to as the evil ones gnawed at him. Why did we have to get new fish? He was happy by himself. When they came, he hid! Poor thing didn't have a chance. Think it might've had something to do with the entire "trial package" of fish food my dad emptied in the tank a little overenthusiastically. Poor little fishy. I'll miss you Casper.

Monday, September 22, 2003

We had to do a dream vacation thing for school so here's mine. It's very interesting.
My Dream Vacation

Day 1
1. Load my personal jet with all my friends for an unchaperoned trip to England. (This is my fantasy, so don’t expect it to make sense.)

2. Go on the plane for a pleasant ride, watching TV, reading magazines and talking in my beautifully furnished jet.

3. Arrive in London. Go to a grand hotel and get a wonderful suite with 5 beautifully furnished and spacious rooms and a fridge filled with- gasp!- free food.

4. Check what’s coming on Pay-Per-View and watch Pirates of the Caribbean with my best friend, Allie who’s totally in love with Orlando Bloom.

5. Go to sleep in beautiful canopy beds.

Day 2
1. Wake up at 9 am, feeling perfectly refreshed even though we stayed up late watching a movie.

2. Go shopping on the streets of London. (I’m a girl! You can’t expect me to go to another country and not shop!) Luckily, we know everything will fit so we don’t have to tediously try things on. My friends and I pick out lots of cool things. We find these cool flip books and inflatable chairs in this big store on Oxford Street (aka Shopping Central). We’re done shopping in a few hours.

3. We walk to Sainsbury’s and buy some sandwiches for a picnic and some candy for dessert. Are favorites are Nestle Aero bars and Haribo Gummy Mix. (If you’re ever in London, try them!) We have a nice little picnic in St. Andrews Park. We can see the Buckingham Palace from here.

4. We go on a double-decker tourist bus and see the sights. We eventually get off at Westminster Abbey. My friends all freak out when they see the coffins. Elvera keeps going on about evil spirits; she screeches about it until some elderly lady gives her a dirty look.

5. Go back to the hotel and swim in the pool. Then get ready for dinner.

6. Go to dinner at a small Indian restaurant with delicious food.

Day 3
1. Go on London taxi to Parliament. We are on the Tower Bridge and the Queen’s carriage approaches and all traffic is stopped as a royal-looking carriage passes by. We all kind of freak out, well cause she’s the Queen! But then suddenly the carriage swerves and her Majesty the Queen falls out of the carriage and is rolled across the bridge. My friends and I all jump out of the car and run to help the Queen as she struggles to get up and then falls off the bridge! Elvera takes a heroic leap off of the bridge. She lands in the water, but is temporarily stunned and starts sinking. Norah (the swimmer of our group) jumps in the water and with the help of a nice stranger on a motorbike sustains her. They try to sustain the Queen but alas, she’s is too heavy. Sorry your Majesty. Sarah sets the camera on the railing as she and Jessica (track-star of our group) run for help. Allie and I look down at the river frantically. We realize what we have to do (psychic connection- it is so freaky) and we jump in and try as hard as we can to sustain the Queen who’s almost unconscious.
A moment later, we’re joined by Sarah who must’ve come back to help. She is a huge help.
A few long minutes later, a rescue boat arrives and pulls us in. Jessica is on deck, looking frantic, yet relieved as she hugs us. (She doesn’t hug the Queen who is being recessitated.)
When the Queen comes to, she smiles sweetly and invites us to tea.

2. We get cleaned up and go to tea with the Queen. Someone picked up Sarah’s video camera (which was recording when she set it down) and gave it to a police man and we watch the film. (Sarah has this thing about filming car windows.) We watched ourselves struggling in the water. The Queen is very grateful to us (and the nice motorbike guy, Joe) and wants to know how she can repay us. I start to tell her that she doesn’t have to give us anything and that we were happy just to help when Jessica, Allie and Sarah pull me aside. Jessica kindly asks,“Are you nuts Aarushi?!”
“This is the Queen, Aarushi!” says Sarah, exasperatedly.
“I wanna meet Orlando!” says Allie.
We decide that we want to meet the cast of the Harry Potter. Her majesty thinks it can be arranged.

3. We come out of the palace, totally psyched. We take the tube to Guildhall (an acting school that Allie’s obsessed with just because Orlando “Orli” went there). We stand outside and we’re all gawking at it. Then Jessica and Sarah push us all in. We walk inside and it’s beautifully decorated. We get some papers that tell all the boring stuff about the school, when we hear a booming British voice. A man with black curly hair walks into the hallway with a man who is obviously a teacher. The man is talking about coming to visit teachers that inspire him. Allie automatically starts to fall but we all support her and keep her standing. Orlando Bloom was standing in the doorway chatting with (obviously) an old teacher of his. Allie just stood there watching for 5 minutes as the teacher was going back to his duties. Elvera looks at me and then looks at Allie and says,”Oh please, child!” She walks up to Orlando full confidence and says,”My friend over there is in love with you. Go say hi!” Orlando looks slightly taken aback. (People usually look taken aback when they first meet Elvera.) He walks over obligingly.
“Hello...” says Orlando. He looks quite nervous.
“Um.. hi..” says Allie, coming to her senses, “Can I get an autograph?” We get pictures and stuff. We get some pictures with Sarah too. Then I get a cell phone call from one of the Queen’s servants telling me that a car is coming to pick us up to go to the Buckingham Palace to meet the cast of the Harry Potter movie. We bid goodbye to Orlando, (we have to drag Allie,) and make our way back to the palace.

4. We arrive at the palace and are allowed in by the guards in front. There are so many reporters trying to talk to us but we’re all being shepherded in, which is a great disappointment to Elvera and Sarah. We rush into the palace and see it but can’t really believe it. The whole cast of Harry Potter! There stood Emma Watson (Hermione), Daniel Radcliffe (Harry Potter), Rupert Grint (Ron) and so many more. We chat for a while about the saving the Queen and things. We get lots of pictures. I got Tom Felton’s (Draco) autograph for a friend of mine, back home. We hit it off really well with Rupert who Allie admits is way cuter in person. Norah and Emma stand next to each other and they actually do look alike. I even get a picture with Alan Rickman (Snape) just to be dangerous. Elvera keeps asking why she wasn’t in the movie. Jessica gets it all on tape.

5. We reach the end of our trip. Her majesty was nice enough to get her servants to load our jet for us. She welcomes us back to England anytime and hopes we don’t get into too much trouble.
Oh god I missed retake day. Mom's gonna be pissed.. Well she'll have to learn to live with her disappointment.. (damn illness)
I'm not in the emotional state right now to be able to piece together sentences. I'm sorry so I'm going to quickly allert you on my state at the moment.

age: 12
feeling: very ill... sore throat, bodyache, that constant feeling that you're going to sneeze.. you know the feeling..
emotional state: not in the best mood.. since i have lost my voice and am now more squeaky than my brother trying to learn to play a plastic recorder. listening to music depresses me as i can only think, i used to be able to sing like that.
physical state: must brush teeth. It is now 2:46 pm and school (conveniently located behind my house) will let out in 45 minutes and I'm not ready to be seen by the public eye. I'm ashamed. I haven't even had lunch.
hair: tangled mess.. it would be much more appealing if it were tangled up in blue. at least something would be cool about it.. never mind
feet: so freakin cold and resting on the hard drive. damn basement.
wishing: i was in school, fully clothed and enjoying my last period of the day (gym) with my friend allie. Allie is angry with me because of my lack of being able to tell her personal information at risk that she might accidentally let it slip. It's not that I don't trust her. Truth be told I would rather tell her. But... I feel I should keep it to myself at the moment.
loving: my new mp3 player, it's no iPod but I feel that I should earn one. I don't need to have 5000 songs in my pocket just yet. I could've asked for one.. but that seems like I'm a gold digger.. I think papa felt sorry for me because I was sick. My MP3 player is so cool. I went downstairs right away to make an Mp3 cd on the Mac OS X, which is way better than the iMac..
Whatever.. I'm not in the mood to write anymore.

Saturday, September 20, 2003

You know it's about 2:30 AM my time and I'm sitting at my computer starting a blog. I don't even know why. In the backround I hear the loud Indian channel and a very enthusiastic voiceover talking very loudly about what a wonderful channel it is. My mother and father are of course, asleep. But I know that if I dare turn off the TV they will wake up and scream and shout about me staying up too late when I'm already ill. I slept for 3 hours this morning (stayed home from school)! How can they expect me to keep perfect hours? when they don't.. The world is so full of hypocrites.
For example, I was talking to this girl and she was talking about how she doesn't base everything on looks. One mutter of a guy and it's a sudden, "You can't like him! He's not hot!" Then she says she's not a hypocrite therefore proving furthermore that she is one. Then she talks about how awful someone else is. It's so funny how you can talk about someone and show no mercy but if it's you, you get all defensive! I always try to consider different sides of every story before opening my (very big) mouth.
I guess the reason I wanted to have a blog is that I can talk all I want. Speak my mind. Nobody can censor me!!!!! I got the POWER!!!
It's strange, but I do all of my thinking at night. Even in the summer when I have nothing to think about and all the time in the world to think.
I HATE summer! All my friends go off to foreign countries or just New York for vacation and I'm stuck at home. Alone. (Okay I did a summer drama class and a day long babysitting course and maybe my friends weren't unavailable the entire summer but I tell you it was torture!) All the interesting people filled their calendar's with interesting things. Leaving me with a nearly empty social calendar and nothing to do except envy those preps who, though aren't interesting, at least have SOME (really annoying and pretensious) people to hang out with. I swear I was that desperate.
I did get a lot of thinking done over the summer. I mean you're sitting in an empty room with nothing to do. Watching TV makes you feel like you have no life. Magazines make you jealous. Computer makes you seem like you're isolated and far far away from the outside world.. Depressing. So you think. Since nothing's really happening. You go over all your memories. You laugh and you cry and you feel enlightened. You figure things out. You look at things in a different light. You realize how seriously screwed up the world is. And you want to start again.
I think I came back to school this year, a lot more put together. More confident. Willing to dodge every rock that was thrown at me. I mean I'd rather be back at school (which is full of annoying conformists who think you're worse than the dirt they pick out from under their perfect nails) than at home. That thought comforts me. And scares the hell out of me.
I just sneezed on the keyboard. God I got something nasty. My throat is as dry as a freakin desert and will not be helped by water. I should get some sleep.
Sometimes I wish I wasn't a slightly abnormal american (well originally from india) teenager. I wish I was a child star or a prima donna or a princess or an adventurer who lives in africa.. something different.. something cool. Something far far away from here. Far away from the drab of an ordinary life. I'd rather eat grasshoppers than live here.. I wanna be out there learning, experiencing, sharing my knowledge with the world. I'm not a sit down person. I'm an action kind of person.
I can't wait to fall in love, even if only for a little while. To feel a sense of belonging. To be loved. I can't wait to have another crush. To feel the glow that your crush is actually laughing with you. I'm young. I shouldn't be thinking about these things.. but oh how I wish.
I'm different. Yet the same. I'm just like everyone else, but different. I see things differently. I talk differently. I pay more attention and I look at things more closely. What if I hadn't read Harry Potter? Would I have been the same person? Would I have looked the same? I think that's the reason why half the world thinks I'm the strangest person who ever walked the planet. Because in a way I sort of am. I don't know. It's late.
A lot of people think I'm more different than I actually am. They sometimes think I don't like the same kind of TV or listen to the same music. (well the same station, I hate that annoying selling drugs and sex music.. damn music industry.) They think that when I get home I sit around reading science textbooks. I sit around and watch tv when I get home. It doesn't occur to them that if you look at things more closely if you pay more attention you come to a mental state that can be described as me. I swear half of them think that there isn't more to life then dating and music and hanging out.
Some people think that I'm a goody-two-shoes teacher's pet perfect girl. I'm not! I swear! I ditch studying, I hated my sixth grade teacher and I would never wear mary janes. I'm not saying that I'm a bad girl. I'm just saying that I speak my mind. If the teacher is cool, I'll like her and I'll be nice to her. I get good grades because I'm smart. I raise my hand because there is such a thing as a participation grade. I do read lots of books. Comedy books, horror books and Harry Potter. Not the dictionary of quantum physics (what is/are quantum physics? I heard a mention on TV before but I have no clue.. I'm guessing it has something to do with physics).
I swear all people do is judge. They never stop and take a double take. Someone once told me that I am "quite a character." I never really knew what that meant until this stage of life. I'm not your average kid with headphones on a bus. I'm the kid who's singing so loud, the busdriver's now deaf. In a manner of speaking of course. He never was deaf. But I did get a lot of complaints.
THe fact is I'm different. I think when god was handing out quirks he gave me a few hundred too many. You can hate me, you can shun me. Or you can embrace the fact that I'm not normal as every other person is. You can call me amazing, you can call me weird. I'm both of those things and lots more. I'm still gonna be me. (after school special ending. what can i say? it's late.)
Feeling of the moment: liberated
Theme song of the moment: Me vs. World by the Halo Friendlies, Take me Away by Christina Vidal
wearing: pink cami that i got in india, angel pants