Friday, December 30, 2005

This is gonna be one of those rare lists where I post it here and not on my list blog.

Things that Bug Me about Guys

-When they talk about their ex. I mean, yeah, I understand that she's a friend of yours still, or whatever, but even if it was insanely funny that when you guys met she thought you were the pizza guy, I really do not want to hear it.

-When they do something sweet, like tell you your beautiful, but then generalize it by saying something like, "This person's beautiful too" or "Most of the girls in our school..."
Way to make me feel special.

-When they say something mean and stupid and unfounded and think they're right.

-When they think that if they have money, they have your heart.

- They get very offended if you're not madly in love with them.

- When they don't call, when they don't EVER call.

-They don't notice haircuts or anything.

- When you're like, "I'm cold" and their dumbasses and say like, "Oh, me too".

-When they never talk about their feelings... not even with other guys. They go, "oh yeah, me too."

-When they don't think you could possibly watch the same television or play the same videogames or listen to the same music as them.

-When they're so clueless and they don't know what to do next... so they don't do anything...

-When they're monosyllabic, or can't think of something to say or just react like, "oh." or "awesome"

-Anytime their like "hahahahahhahahahhaa penis"

............and I can't think of anything else. Because I do like guys.

Things I want in a Guy. Because now I have some perspective.

-They must make a good pillow.

- They should be nice and warm, and smell nice and clean.

-Um, bodily function references to a minimum please.

-THey can't be too emo, I don't want to have to pick up someone's life every 5 minutes.

-They can't be hard as rock either, because, that'll piss me off way more than the emo-ness.

-I need someone with distinct musical taste. And the music should be good.

-Instruments are always good.

-I like it when they have good hair as well. Good comes in many different shapes and forms; from short and curly to long and flippy to jew fro to well, i guess that's it..

-I'd like a guy to have actually opened a book before.

-They have to see beyond their world or themselves. I want him to care about something.

-I like it when you're talking to them and they say something sweet and then they blush.

-I want someone who's a total and complete dork.. Someone who can start talking about something utterly dorky and then notice that they're being a dork and then blush and continue being a dork.

-Dude, I know this is silly, but I want him to get sort of jealous.. just a little bit indignant.. and get all hot around the collar. That's sexy.

-A wicked grin

-I sort of want him to help me study. I would realllly appreciate that.

-I would love it if he was sensible.. like, I would totally want a guy to get really mad at me for doing something stupid like, getting drunk and calling my mother.. not that I would.

-I want him to pay attention to what I'm saying and look at me while I'm talking.

-Yeah if he's not good at making conversation.....

- I want him to be able to cheer me up, but also be able to get mad at me and whip me into shape if I'm being a big baby.

-I'd like it if he could be wicked, but wouldn't.

-I want him to make my parents like him. And not be afraid of my dad.

- I like a cute little guy with values... he has to be kind and courteous and tactful, yet honest.

-But he's got to be a little bit mischievous... and hide it well.

-Basically he has to know how to make someone feel special. And he has to look at me so I feel like he actually cares what I'm saying and as if I'm the only person in the room.

Monday, December 26, 2005

So yeah like, music.

Merry whatever.
Click on the X's. On the Starred ones, just left click and "Save Target As" or "Download Link To Disk"

Franz Ferdinand cover of "What You Waiting For" by Gwen Stefani--- xxxx

A mash of Black Eyed Peas and The Arcade Fire, "Hump My Tunnels"---xxxx

*Bright Eyes cover of "Blue Christmas" by Elvis Presley---xxxx

*Bjork Remix- "It's In Our Hands"(Soft Pink Truth Remix)--xxxx

*Kickass Kanye West Remix of "Gold Digger"---xxxx

Friday, December 23, 2005

So like, yeah. Love.
i'm majorly sick of writing about it.
So I want to leave some quotes about it.
if you want a good description from me... go here .

“When a young man complains that a young lady has no heart, it's pretty certain that she has his”
George Dennison Prentice

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.” Neil Gaiman

“You know that when I hate you, it is because I love you to a point of passion that unhinges my soul.” Julie de Lespinasse

"Love isn't finding a perfect person. It's finding an imperfect person perfectly."

"You love someone because they sing a song you can hear"

“I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love you for the part of me that you bring out.”
Elizabeth Barrett Browning

“If you have to think about whether you love someone or not then the answer is no. When you love someone you just know.”
Janice Markowitz

"Love is watching someone die. " Ben Gibbard

"She said she loves you and you know that can't be bad.. she loves you and you know you should be glad." The Beatles

"And now there is a fire in me. A fire burns." Alex Kapranos

"One year of love is better than a lifetime alone. " Queen

“I don't wish to be everything to everyone, but I would like to be something to someone.”
Javan quotes

"I want to tell you, my head is filled with things to say... when i get near you, all those things they seem to slip away... " Beatles

Saturday, December 17, 2005

it turned out to be a good weekend after all.
well, any weekend that contains a kick ass concert is always good.
On Friday I was kind of depressed because all of my best friends were having a party without me, because one of them uninvited me... because i dont know. so i went out and got my hair cut because it makes you feel loads good. But then I got into an argument that amplified the fact that I was being ignored by like 10 people...
But when I woke up Saturday, I found that one of the people had come around!
And it decreased my stress by I dont know how much. I decided to go to the concert (ETA records) even though my friend Cassie had to cancel. So I took Mary and we had sooo much fun.
We hung out with Chris and Xio and their friends.
WE got free hats! Because I sang "Mary Had A Little Lamb" and Mary named the owner of the record label. We look so gangsta in our hats.

The bands were really good especially Plunket, BrP and I Voted For Kodos.
The mosh pit wasn't too bad either..
Chris bodysurfed up to the stage and well, took off his shirt.
Which this girl, Anna, found and stole.

I eventually got his plaid button down back to him.
The moshing wasn't too bad, I actually found that some people make efforts to wear deoderant before going to a concert.
And yeah, I look straight up ghetto fab in my hat.

fo realz.

It was tote awesome.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

i'm such a slave to my emotions.
I don't understand why.
I'm depressed.
I can't think of anything I want to do, or love, music isn't making me very happy. At least, not at the moment. I'm bound by my responsibilities, my obligation, by social niceties, by other people, by lack of funds, guilt, lies and i just want to get out.
i don't like waking up. i don't like my school. i mean, i like it, i have friends, it's interesting, the classes are stimulating... but i don't know. i don't. i'm scared of what's to come, i'm not sure of change. and everything's always changing. i crave love, but i'm afraid of it.
my conversation's are uninteresting, of little importance. i find myself thinking less about how much something will make me happy but of how it will put me ahead. like it's some huge game and i have to win at all costs. i don't know what's important and i don't have time to figure it out. i have to know everything in an instant or i'm doomed to fail. i'm not good at learning. i'm not fast, i'm not organized,i'm not disciplined. i lose everything. movies make me sad. they all seem to relay the same message. you don't know what it is though, because the movie can't answer your problems. maybe it's an hour of entertainment, but it doesn't give you answers. i'm beginning to believe in darwinism and it scares me. because everyone keeps telling me that in order to survive in this world, you have to be the best, the strongest, the smartest, the fittest and i'm beginning to question whether i am of any worth compared to those better than me.
i'm a good person, but that won't get me by anymore. i have to be brilliant, above brilliant. life is unfair. kill yourself or get over it.
isn't there anything more to life? i feel like i'm burdened by everything and so aware always of the passage of time. close your eyes for a second, and it's next year.
and your money's gone and you can't get it back but you need it to get by, you need it if you want any hope for happiness. let's face it, it's all about the material wealth and it's all about what you look like, and how you present yourself or how you seem to be on a piece of paper. That's why myspace is so popular. It's because people don't want layers, they don't want to get to know you. They want to judge by a snapshot. and it's not fair. but it's my world. and i don't want to live in it. But I have no choice, do I? Just keep going on, living on obligation, out of spite and try and get salvation in the little things.
it makes me hurt.