Sunday, December 11, 2011

but wouldn't you know i ended up having a wonderful day

everything was a mess and i was a wreck. 


i pattered and preened and quibbled and driveled all while wearing a smile and pretending everything was dandy. i don't really deal with things as much as i ring them out and hang them up to dry. i will always have the shape of some people etched into my heart. 


i will never value anyone more than i value the people that make the time to see me face to face, the people that tell me what i need to hear without me asking for it, and the people who know me well enough to tell me the truth but not hurt me with it. i value you those people who see the good in me when i don't see it, and the people who dream for me what i haven't yet dreamed. 


it's easy for me to let people in, it's easy for me to make friends. what's hard for me is knowing if i can be myself completely around people. i just want to know people i can be myself completely around at some moment. i think we all crave that. there are some people who can make you better just by being around you and just by talking to you.  those are the people you want in your life. 


this will all make perfect sense some day. a john mayer lyric, but true nonetheless. a better quote to end on is this: 


“[...] the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes 'Awww!' What did they call such young people in Goethe's Germany?” 
― Jack KerouacOn the Road



I guess I just think all of my friends are crazy insane, but I can't like people who aren't crazy anyway.

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