Saturday, October 16, 2010

they don't love you like i love you

i am not always the biggest fan of karen o -- but i fully believe in giving credit where it's due. this song, from fever to tell, has this feeling about it that i guess does this thing where it encapsulates a feeling that i think gets had more than people want to say.


she kind of pulls from some really tender place probably located somewhere in her id and she feels like she can say something so upfront and polarizing- "they don't love you like i love you." the idea of simple devotion, care and shared laughter seems so alien these utilitarian days of college life.

i sometimes wish that what i want in my heart of hearts-- which i fully believe is something really unselfish-- could be justifiable or even possible in this universe.
i mean, of course it's possible... anything is probably possible given time and resources and will. but it's really not that easy, and it's really hard to know why you want something and if just wanting something is reason enough to pursue.

all this time i thought that i didn't have a wall up against the world. i thought that others kept people out with their pretend callousness and their cavalier attitudes toward others, but i am slowly realizing that i have slowly but surely and maybe accidentally constructed some kind of barricade against the world. i know because i frequently bump into it when i try to express my feelings to someone or another. for some reason the prospect of showing any weakness or regard for what other people think can seem so daunting.

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