Random thoughts of a spontaneous mind...
listening to: "Heart Shaped Box"- Nirvana
wearing: pjs- brigadoon shirt and angel pants which i wrote all over
feeling: tired, but unfulfilled. my back hurts. i feel... in a rut.. good thing it's a new year.
I'm having a writers block. SO i think i'm going to have some random thoughts of a spontaneous mind. right now.


shoes= People totally subconsciously judge people based on their shoes. I do that all the time. First, I'll just be there, in math class, staring off into space, because it's the only thing you can do when you sit at the far back and my gaze falls upon a pair of shoes. And I go, "Oh those are nice, come to think of it, betty's really nice," and I get a little positive boost of energy and the next time Betty asks to borrow a pencil, I'm more inclined to say, "Sure, nice shoes." And then when i go shopping for shoes, I feel so confident when I'm wearing my pink chucks which i wrote all over, because they show my artistic capabilities and my phat farms make me feel "debonaire" which is nice, because I don't have many cool shoes. And the best part, they don't even have to be expensive... if they're a decent color, clean and a little faded, they're fine, i mean, i like it, when people write on their shoes... it tells me a little more about them and it's fun.

deleting a song? hell, no= This really pissed me off. Before I got my iPod, I was begging everyone to tell me whether I should get a big or a mini. The benefit of a big was, more songs, but the little one was sooo cute. And you know what some people said to me, "Oh my gosh, your getting an iPod? You should get the little one, because it's so cute. And plus, once a song gets old, you can just delete it!" Ohmygoodness, red flags are going off, an alarm is sounding, poor dogs are barking because they hate alarms and somewhere Aarushi is inwardly screaming.
Deleting a song? Oh no. I couldn't. I wouldn't dare. Unless of course, it was a crappy song, but I don't listen to crappy songs. A song, in my mind, is like a message from god. Okay, maybe not that intense, (because a lot of songs are about sex) but anyway, it's like the truist art form, a portrait of the human soul. When you write a song and sing it, it's like sharing a piece of you. And would you want a piece of you just clicked away? I don't think so. It's the same thing as tearing up a beautiful painting, burning a poem and why? To make space for something new. And new isn't always better, it's just new. In fact, the music of our generation sucks. Especially on Z104, which plays the same songs, over and over again. (like the song, over and over)
And songs are like a fine wine, as they get older, they mature and grow. Yeah, it's the same chords, but at different points in your life, music has different meanings. And I would hate, having just the current music on my iPod! What good is it if I only have Britney Spears's In the Zone album or Destiny Fulfilled or whatever the hell people are listening to? What about the Beatles? U2? David Bowie? Nirvana? ANd i thought people liked Nirvana... Yeah so it's a little old, but it's really good. People don't waste all that time recording music if you're only gonna keep it for a year. Because believe it or not, people don't do it just for the cash. They want to get their message through, they want to be heard and they want to spread their emotions through their music. It's not fair if all of it is thrown away. Music is one of the greatest gifts, and great gifts shouldn't be cast off. So here, if the song sucks, delete it, but if you like it, with all your perspective on life, please keep it in. (Oh and I got the non-mini one, because I don't delete.)

That's it for now.. But tune in later.

By the way, this is just my opinion. I'm not trying to change anyone else's. I'm only venting, I'm not trying to preach or tell you who to be.

I guess I can't be surprised. I've put off writing this post for a long week. The election is over, most probably. This is the one week anniversary of the Election on November 2nd (this is also the anniversary of seeing Simple Plan live,). This has been one of the closest races ever, but Oh My GOD! Why did he have to win?!
I mean, of all the people who could've been our president, it had to be the Bush. I mean, it's heartbreaking to see that half of America is okay with everything he did and want more. When I found out, I was like, that's it, Armageddon is upon us.
I mean, I have nothing against him, (except the whole war thing and the bad leadership thing), I think he's a good person. But I feel like Bush is taking away all of our rights, and is not going to do well for this world. His war was unjustified, his laws are based mainly on his own religious beliefs, he's not letting people have the money they deserve, so the rich will be richer and the poor will become poorer.
I'm not ashamed to admit it, I cried. I mean, at the time I was so hyped up, thinking about John Kerry and all the good he would do and how he might actually do it right, and then it all crashed down as the reality settled in. George W. Bush won. George W. Bush is the most powerful man in the world.
A man who will not represent the entire population, just a percentage. I felt like the world was crashing down. I mean, what if I was someone else? What if I was dying of Parkinson's? What if I was raped and no one could prove it and pregnant? What if I was poor? What if I was old and couldn't take care of myself? What if I was in the army?
I HATE IT!
And only 17% of the youth even voted! I mean, they take so much for granted. I'm not a citizen and might not get to vote by the time I turn 18, because I wasn't born here. And those who can, just don't.
THANK YOU AMERICA. for showing me how smart you are.
We're just so proud, we don't realize the whole world hates us. It's so clear to the rest of the world, that we're going so wrong. When I was in India, the only thing anyone was talking about was how awful Bush's decisions were. Everyone laughs at us and no one knows.
It's so stupid. I mean, I've done nothing wrong, i've been a good kid, never stolen or intentionally hurt anyone, since I hit seventh grade, i swore off being mean unless provoked in the last week by said person, trying my best to take the high road and just avoid people I don't like and not associating with people who make me feel bad about myself or who disrespect me and have been nice enough to keep forgiving people who walk all over me because I'm too nice to hold a grudge for too long and want to avoid drama so that I just become a doormat, because I'm just the nice person who does stuff for people who don't notice and don't even care, who just expect it. Okay, where was I?
Yeah I'm not a bad person. I don't know any people I would call bad persons, so I'm thinking America is just filled with good people, some of which, make bad decisions, so how could this happen? I mean, I try so hard to think that the world is a good place to live in and that everything happens for a reason, leading to our ultimate good fate as long as we stay good people, but this makes me change my mind sooo much. i feel completely let down.
I mean PEOPLE ARE DYING in Iraq and India and Iran and basically every third world country, people are forever Judged on appearances, first impressions and no one believes that people are always changing, the people in power only help those who are in power, girls are raped, children are beaten and have to work 23 hours a day, while people are shoved into middle schools and high schools where no one understands them or take the time to listen and everyone is so damn selfish that they can't consider anyone but themselves(PG13). People are forgotten, music dies out, people's dreams are crushed, people go on with out being discovered, hearts break, there are no second chances, you can't go back, people abandon their families and drink all day or take drugs and end up accidentally hurting themselves. And it's not going to stop! Because our generation is doing the same things even earlier.
I'm so incredibly jaded. once again, thank you George Bush for being the tip of my iceberg.

"No matter what happens, everything's always back to normal by the end of the episode." -Fry, Futurama


You know how on TV shows everything's normal and then when something happens the episode starts? Well, what is normal? I don't really think that normal is possible. Nothing's normal. I mean everyday we are different from what we were the day before, everyday filled with discovery and every moment unique. I mean how is it possible to be normal when normal is, according to dictionary.com,
according with, constituting, or not deviating from a norm, rule, or principle b : conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern, but when is there ever a regular pattern in life? I mean life is ever-changing, ever growing. There is always a different occurence, a different dialogue, nothing is ever constant or the same. If you think about anything, it's always changing... sure there's a regular routine, a
common pattern, but there are always parts that are being changed, parts that are staying the same. life is never normal.
I think that normality is an illusion.

She Will Be Loved 


 
I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved
 
Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get so insecure
It doesn't matter anymore
 
It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along
My heart is full and my door's always open
You can come anytime you want
 
This is one of the sweetest songs I've ever heard. Plus it's got killer vocals and instrumental which makes this song basically perfect. Seriously this is the kind of song that makes me literally cry. And Maroon5 is just so real. The music has such a good sense of reality. And they're just so damn good at what they do. I don't know whether to hate them or to love them. They make the kind of music I'd love to be able to write and sing. I really admire them.

But yet I wish we were still that way. Chummy, nothing will tear us apart, forever friends. The good kind. I wish we could be the way we were before Information Technology and internet web sites made us stop seeing the good things about each other.
We let the people we would never want to be like anyway, dictate what we thought of each other.
So, if you don't hate me, I'd really like to start over and forget old arguments. It doesn't matter who was right or wrong. But from this moment, I call truce. And if you don't believe in that, please don't associate with me in blog. Thank you.

I hate this.
I have a friend, well used to have a friend who was always there to talk, would listen to me and value my opinions. She would be really supportive and listen to my never-ending babble. She sat with me and stood up for me and was always there for me. Well, she died. Not really, but she's not like that anymore.
Lately she's been really mad. Really short tempered with me. I don't want to be around her so much because all we ever do now is fight. She told me she hated me and that she was sick of me and ignored me when I was right there. Someone who used to stand up for me is starting to regard herself as an enemy.
I don't like it. I mean, your friends are your friends, regardless. But she isn't. She doesn't want to be.

I'm supposed to be doing my Kumon. Kumon is math work that I'm always behind on. According to me, it's hell work for those who haven't "paid their dues." Mom wants me to get a good SAT score. OMG.
I know I'm going to get a good SAT score. I'm smart. I'll pull through. I don't need 2 weeks worth of 5 page, 30 minute packets crammed into a Sunday. I just don't need it. I have enough to do. But parents don't listen do they? It's for our own good, they say. If it was for my own good it would be fun or at least rewarding. But, alas it isn't. It's no reward to me if I'm acing third grade math.
I'd rather be in an Art class or a foreign language class. THat would at least be interesting.
I HATE KUMON!!! And this is coming from someone who loves math and enjoys doing the homework. I wouldn't mind it if I only had to do it every other day. But I don't have time to do it everyday. Weekends are busy and so are Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. I DON'T have time.

Today was my birthday. Tomorrow will just be another ordinary day. The first day of my new life. Because birthday parties are really a celebration of a new beginning and an honoring of a past.

I'm thirteen.

It's hard to think about.

I've been through so much in my 13th year, that it's strange to start the 14th. (When you turn one, you're actually starting your second one, so saying that you've completed a year of your life.) So many periods of growth and change.. Do you ever think of what would happen if you erased a year of you're life? How much would you lose? Thoughts, wonderings, experiences, friends... One thing I know is that I would never erase the past year. Over the time of being 12, I learned too much to just throw away. I changed my mind about a million times and became a different person than I have been. I've been depressed, I've been ecstatic and lonely and joyful... it's weird. But I liked it. I went through so many changes and stages that if I looked at my self two years ago and looked at me now, I'd be indistinguishable. I mean, I think I look alike, but so many things, other, have changed. I went through loss and understood what it felt like. I've been through wishing and longing. I've missed. I've been reborn. Enlightened am I after a year. I remember a year ago on this date. I was sleeping now, (it's 11:44) exhausted from a 36 hour day of planes and rides and sucky airplane food. I think that was one of the worst birthdays I'd ever had. I slept through most of my party with jet lag. But when I think about me now and me then... I'm a lot different. I'm not entirely different, I still have the same interests and hobbies. But things are different now.
There are people who were my friends then, who I'd never talk to now. Or people who I thought I could never talk to, who are my friends now. I can't think of how different my life would be without at least one experience or change. Even if I hadn't seen a certain TV show or been on the computer at a certain time. It's weird how people are always changing. You think you know them, but then they get a new idea or emotion. Then they're never the same. People are never the same. People will never be the same. Change is inevitable. You can't say that you don't miss the way things used to be. You can't not wonder about what would've happened if something had gone differently. Life is a circle. Or a web. Everything leads to another. It's infinite. Even if what you do doesn't have consequences for you, it does for someone else. Life is like a ripple. A wave that doesn't just sweep over you, but everyone around you or connected to you. Everyone who you might come across. You can't control it. It's just.. there.
It's my birthday. I'll never be 12 again. Being 12 is just a memory. Just wanted to express this in the last hour of my birthday. I'll never feel 12 again. I'm opening a new chapter, a new beginning in my life. Things will never be the same again. I'm thirteen and life will take me to new and different places. I'm thirteen.
C'est la vie.
11:50 pm

Okay, you know when you make a huge mistake big time? I just did. I usually take pride that I'm kind and courteous to everyone I know and that I don't hold grudges... not since elementary. This doesn't mean I'm going to keep giving more chances out.
But today I went against my own principles. Something that really makes me mad at myself. Well there is a girl who is something of an outcast at our school. Last year, she went through a lot, but in the process she inadvertently made my life a living hell... She did this all in good intention. She was wrong in the way she treated my best friend, sometimes crying when my best friend wanted to hang out with me instead of her. She had no self esteem. She was also something of a joke to us...
I do admit that I was mean and sometimes downright cruel behind her back,(sometimes forgetting that she has feeling) but I should've known better, because I know how it feels to be treated that way. For that, I am truly sorry.
When she came back this year, it was apparent that she was trying to change. Most of it was improvement, because she no longer randomly bursts into tears and she manages to keep a smile on. But she has built up the annoying habit of hugging people, frankly, scaring them and very much disturbing me. It's just that, sometimes when she talks, it seems like she's trying to act cool but it isn't working. She comes across as desperate a lot of the time. She also has told my best friend and me that she likes our crushes, which basically bugs the hell out of me. With the above information before me, sometimes I tend to forget that she still has emotions, just that they aren't as apparent as they were last year. She has gone through a growth and earned acceptance, which I had failed to see.
I think I bugged her a lot today, thinking she wouldn't care. But I now see that I came across obnoxious. And she, never wanting to be deprived of something that someone else has, wanted an opportunity which she made a big deal of. I gave her one of my classic,"Oh my god" phrases and she got really irritated and told me that I'd been putting her down all day and she'd maintained a smile.
I saw at once how horrible it must've felt. And I'm really very sorry... I just wish I could take it back. But now I know not to stray from my principles and ruin someone's day.

I do have a private journal. It's not something I write in from day to day, because I would never be able to keep up. It's just something that I keep my feelings in. The kind I can't share with the world. Now, before you go rummaging through my things, I have to say that I don't have anything incriminating or anything remotely juicy in there. It's just that sometimes, I get very frustrated and I need to vent. I usually say things I don't mean when I vent, so to spare myself the indignity and the emotions of others, I write it down. I very rarely get angry. I believe that anger is a form of insanity, that all people should guard against. I mean, so many things were started with anger. I'm not talking about being pissed. I mean real anger. When you're to the point that you're going to bust with frustration and disappointment and fear. Wars, separations in countries, deaths, poverty.......
When I get angry I usually scream into a pillow and maybe write a song. But when I can't do that I grab my journal and write or sometimes just scribble and then I might write a poem. Well yesterday, I got angry. I mean really angry. I wasn't angry at anyone in particular. I was angry at the world. We are studying world hunger in Family and Consumer Ed (FACE). This is a very sensitive topic for me. I am from India and just recently, like last March, I was there. The poverty had a real effect on me. I can't bare to see people treated that way. When I'm in FACE and we have a discussion about this, I actually tremble and stutter. I've never trembled or stuttered in my life. I am very affected by this and I haven't been able to pay attention in my second period class because of it. But this isn't about me. It's about everyone else.
To me it seems like, everyone else doesn't really care. I mean, they care, but it doesn't truly matter to them. They walk out of the class talking about football, as if the class didn't just happen. As if they didn't just see young girls bawling over how they were so mistreated. It doesn't occur to them that those people in the video could just as easily be them.
I see a lot of people expressing how much they hate thinking about these things. How they wish they didn't have to learn this. Do they really think that all the teacher wants to do is depress them? The purpose is to spread awareness. Unless people know about these know about these things, they won't be able to do anything to prevent it.
When I was done venting, I wrote a poem about it. (It usually wraps it up nicely and allows me to think about something else.) I want to put it here, because this is the only place where it can be shown.

Why was I so Lucky?
That I never saw a parent die
I don't need to beg for money
I don't feel the need to cry

My body was never abused
My heart wasn't broken in two
I'm strong willed and I'm free
My life's lain out for me

Why was I so lucky?
I don't have a life threatening disease
I'm not afraid that I'll freeze
I'm not scared to know that some people know my name
I can be anything I want without any shame

There are people in this world who are afraid to laugh or cry
Afraid to tell their name
Afraid that they will die
Why was I so lucky, that I'm not one of them?
Some people take for granted, how easy life is for them..

Invisible

Whatcha’ doin’ tonight
I wish I could be a fly on your wall
Are you really alone
Still in your dreams
Why can't I bring you into my life
What would it take to make you see that I'm alive

If I was invisible
Then I could just watch you in your room
If I was invincible
I'd make you mine tonight
If hearts were unbreakable
Then I could just tell you where I stand
I would be the smartest man
If I was invisible
(Wait..I already am)

I saw your face in the crowd
I called out your name
You don't hear a sound
I keep tracing your steps
Each move that you make
Wish I could read what goes through your mind
Wish you could touch me with the colors of your life

Wow, thank you Clay Aiken for that very moving piece. See, if every guy were that sincere, the world would be a better place. Clay is an example for mankind. There's a reason that many girls would give anything to be his girlfriend. It's not because of his looks. It's because he is a man among men. And you know what the best part is? He was a nerd in high school. Gonna make someone sad she turned him down for the prom, huh?

Today I was told that I don't understand. That I'll never understand. Because I don't know. But the fact is everyone understands what happens deep down. Everyone feels the same. When your heart is broken, when you lose a friend, when a loved one dies. When you've been rejected, when someone just doesn't care.
That feeling like you're floating on air when you link eyes with him in the hall. The falling of when you're alone and scared. The suffering of when you've been hurt. We've all felt it. We all understand.
Everyone feels the same way, whether you're the most popular person or a lonely and unnoticed outsider. Us, human beings share the same kind of bond, no matter how different we are. We've all been hurt. It's how you deal with it that makes you different. It's how you deal with it that proves who you really are.

Okay, it's December. The "most wonderful time of the year". Oh come on. Exactly what's wonderful about it? You get presents. You get days off school. So? What's the real point of the holidays? How many people really go to church on Christmas? But, I know it's none of my business what people do on Christmas, but what I don't like is how the schools are decorated. Santa Clauses, mini Christmas trees, reindeer... Sorry, but not everyone celebrates it. A school is a place of learning. It's not a place where Einstein is wearing a Santa Claus hat and Frida Kahlo's a character from Dr. Seuss.
Okay, I'll tell the truth. I do celebrate Christmas and I enjoy Christmas music. But I'm equally interested in the celebration of Channukah, Kwanzaa, Diwali (my holiday) and others. But the whole Christmas spirit thing is way overblown. But you can have Christmas spirit! Decorate your homes, eat candy canes, spread tinsel for all I care. But a public learning institution should not be biased towards a certain religion or culture. I mean for God's sake, there are huge Christmas trees in the capitol, the Rockafeller Plaza and everywhere else. It simply isn't fair for a government building to show favoritism among holidays and such. Or if they do feel the need to display their religion, it would be nice if they represented other religions as well. So many Christmas decorations and holiday symbols may make a young child feel less confident about admitting their religion if they are not a Christmas celebrating religion.
The problem is that America is a mainly Christian country and those who aren't are in minority. Therefore, influential areas, like schools, feel that it is okay to display religious icons (not speaking of Jesus figurines, but Christmas symbols such as Santa Clauses and such), though it does not give voice to the minorities in the area. For goodness sake, they made us go see Elf as a reward for doing well. I'm not saying that it was not an enjoyable movie, but it is the principle that is more important. I, therefore conclude that the school would be a less biased religiously and commercial if the school put up winter decorations, but not that of Christmas, because you come to school to be taught in Academics and other necessary areas, but choice of religion should not be influenced by schools.

Seer


The ULTIMATE personality test
brought to you by Quizilla proof that i'm not the only one who thinks i see things that others don't.

12:30 You know, you think you know someone. But then they say or do something seriously unpredictable. There really is more to people than meets the eye.
You go around thinking, They'll never know how I feel. They've never been through this. or you might even think something egotistical. I'm probably the wisest person in this place, because I've been through a lot. Sometimes it might be true. Maybe you are the wisest person in the room. Or maybe they'll never know what you feel like.
You never really stop to think about other peoples' lives. You automatically assume that they're nothing like you or unable to relate. That they've never been through pain. You look at someone from the outside and judge them on the way they act towards you. On the way they look and act right now.
I bet if everyone knew everyone's ulterior motives, they wouldn't think that what they did is so bad.
That's why it really hurts me when someone says, "I've been through a lot more than you have," or "You couldn't possibly know how I feel." How do you know?
Everyone has a past. Everyone has been through pain. It may be the pain of being made fun of for something you can't control. It could be that a loved-one died.
A point that someone made to me was,"You've never had anyone blood-related to you die," What does blood mean, anyway? Why should I have to be blood-related to someone to feel pain if they're gone? I love someone because of who they are and what they do. Not because of their relation.
Today, my friends were depressed because of their lost grandfathers. They kept telling me how I couldn't relate because I haven't lost a grandfather. But I have. He may be alive, but he's not the grandfather I used to have.
My grandfather has a degenerative illness. Most of my family thinks he's depressed. And no one hates it more than I do. I want the grandfather I can talk to and love. Not the grandfather who sits at home all day in bed and fusses whenever someone leaves the house and never goes outside. I think that's just a little bit more painful than having a wonderful grandfather just die. My grandfather used to be wonderful. But now he's in a vegetable state. And everyday, I hope and pray that he'll get better and be happy again. I feel so left out that everyone else has their dad's dad talk to you about what he was like when he was a kid and read you stories. And play with you. But I never had that. I kind of wish that he had died earlier, but had his right state of mind. Then, at least I would have some memories with him.
I wish I could've known him. I wish I could have an intelligent conversation with him and known what he was like. I knew he was a wonderful person. I've listened to tapes of him before he got sick.
Before he got sick. He was a wonderful person before he got sick. He used to chase after my sister on her bike. He didn't know me as me. He knew the little darling baby. "You really have to send us some tapes of our little darling, Aarushi singing. She has such a lovely voice." I heard that on the tape. He also mentioned something about my Dadi (dad's mom) writing her own music and him accompanying her and maybe representing her in a few years. In a few years he got sick.
It just kills me that he had imagined a happy life and ended up in bed. Isolated at home. I just wish it hadn't happened. I mean why him? Why me? I can ask that question forever, but he'll never be the same..

Here I am. I just super-surfed the internet while i was supposed to be researching common houseflies. Forgive me god. It is now 12:00 pm and I have no idea how it became that way. Time flies.
I just wanted to clarify something. I don't hate preps (and/or conformists depending on the situation). I just hate what they represent. I mean I've observed them.
Around the opposite sex they're very very disgustingly flirty. And I cannot stand that. I'm not antisocial and I have be known to flirt. But flirting is like a job for them. And the way they act is really pretensious. There life has no meaning. They just exist, day-by-day. It's all about routine and the gossip and I'm going out with this guy right now but I'm gonna break up with him within the next week. I mean they never truly know each other, because they don't show their true feelings and opinions. I say the word "adept" to a prep and they say "English please!"
I hate how they judge people. They say one word to someone and have a formed opinion. And I've noticed that most preps are the "more attractive" individuals. I've heard them judging others.
To the untrained eye, preps seem like an amazing group of gifted people. How did they get there? Why were they so blessed? I wish I could be like them! But to become "one of them" you have to agree with the group. If you go against the system, you're out. You upset one person. You upset everyone.
I really hate the fact that they automatically go against diversity. I'm not talking about racial diversity. I'm talking about individual diversity. Like they go against me, because I'm different. There are people who I've never said more than two words to talking behind my back. And they call themselves human.
They (speaking in general;there are exceptions) think that just because someone is mean to them, they can be mean right back. They think that just because someone does something differently or looks a certain way gives them license to ridicule. Like take this girl lets just call her uh, J. She is really depressed because she has no friends. They think that because she has occasional emotional melt-downs that they can insult her looks. And do pranks on her. And call her names. And purposely try and make her mad. Do they have any compassion?
And lastly, (because I have to go to bed) they don't see themselves. They don't see how they act. So when they get in trouble for their actions, they blame it on someone else. No, it's the teacher that's mean. Take this guy named well for this purpose, Stuart D. Now Stuart talks in class. I'm talking major disruptions. All the time. He gets about 20 warnings per class period, until finally, poor teacher gives up and hands him a detention. Then he gets all pissy at the teacher. I mean feel bad for the teacher here. I know Stuart was trying to impress people, by being unbearably stupid, but there are other ways.
Sorry for the misspelling and punctuation and grammar errors. It's late and I'm tired.

I made a new blog called Aarushi's Freaky Little Lists and the URL is http://freaky-lil-lists.blogspot.com. I'm not really in the mood to write so, Au revoir.

Hello world. Well hello to anyone reading. Once again it's 11:37 central time and I'm writing in my blog. It feels cool. I'm going to make another blog just of my lists. Interesting. Forgive me. It's late. (That excuse is kind of wearing itself thin now, isn't it? Well, forgive me I'm weird.)

Do you wanna know what is really annoying? Ok so I'm walking into Choir. (Now, I don't actually take Choir due to bad management and lack of participation and the fact that nobody there is willing to work as a team. I prefer MYC (Madison Youth Choir) because the people there are actually serious and not just looking for a way to get out of playing an instrument or their mom made them take it. whatever. I mean no mother in their right mind would pay $300 a year for a choir their kid wouldn't participate in. Plus you have to audition to get in.
The only reason I had to go to Choir is because "I have a feeling that this choir will blossom and Mr. Cao is a really wonderful teacher! So do you think you could try it out, maybe today in tutorial. I can fix you're schedule," in the words of Mrs. Piper, our counselor. But my mom says they just need a strong voice in the choir to make the school look good. But I hated Choir last year. Why bring on an endless chain of harrassment and green-eyed classmates if it's not even worth it? I need my tutorials. (*Study hall* )
Okay, anyway I'm walking into Choir and someone who shall remain nameless went, in that tone of voice that says I-obviously-don't-want-you-to-be-in-this-choir-because of-how-you-made-us-all-look-bad-last-year-but-I'm-trying-to-pretend-like-I'm-being-polite-by-laughing-nervously, "You're (giggle) not (giggle) joining choir again, (giggle) are you?" I would've said,"Well, I wouldn't join this choir in a million years if I knew you were going to be in it." But then my best, Sarah says "She's just testing it out," and then mutters something to me; we laugh for a second.
But seriously I get that whole nervous laugh thing all the time. Mostly from my worst enemy. (Now she's not really my worst enemy, in fact she's kind of a friend, but we like to call each other worst enemies, because we're total opposites and well we don't like each others' beliefs. Basically, we're enemies but we have conscience when it matters. But sometimes she goes to me for help. Or rarely, if ever, vice versa.) I can understand if people don't like me, but being like that is really impolite. I would never do that even to she-who-annoys-me-more-than-my-brother-cloned-50-times. (sorry privacy must be protected, with enemies. This is the internet.) It's just mean!! And it makes you feel like, "well now I REALLY love this class." I mean if anyone who's done this is reading this, stop and think before you talk. Lots of decent people would rather not be in the class in with you, but don't express the opinion, because they don't want to be mean. If you do something mean like that, that just makes you the worse person. (That's me, trying to make a point, but kind of making it weird because I'm really really tired and am going to bed.)