I don't want to do it your way; i don't want do it your way; i don't want to give it to you your way. I don't want to know!

I think I'm most possibly the weirdest person ever.

For example, I've been doing this thing where I have traumatic, sometimes completely life-altering things happen, but all I seem to care about is whether my iPod is charged and whether I've been reading the news.

I've completely forgotten about school, and surprisingly, nothing apocalyptic has happened; I guess this is an effect of not taking a science class. Never again. I've been wandering around like a dream, hoping for some imaginary future which seems like it'll never come.

Today, I started thinking about the future and I was transported back to last semester when I was freaking out about what I wanted to do with myself. It's annoying. I'm even annoying myself.

However, everyone else who knows me is giving me the most positive frigging reactions I've ever had. It seems like everyone is telling me I'm great, I'm pretty, I'm nice, I have a good voice, and my hair is nice. It's getting hard to handle. I've never been good at accepting compliments. For the most part now, I'm like "Yeah, thank you so much. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks."

Either, I'm in the best shape of my life, or there's some rockstar thing rubbing off on people. Maybe it's the fact that I'm not caring as much about what people think and just doing whatever I want.

Meanwhile, I'm being a raucous teenager nineteen-year-old. Oh yeah, I'm 19, did I tell you that? I'm a prime number. When I'm introspective like this, I'm prompted to look at myself. Upon looking at myself, I see that I'm the same girl; same chubby cheeks, same big ol' questioning eyes, same well, nose that my family members in India like to hail as my worst characteristic. Moreover, I'm reminded that I'm the same goofy person. I say things in a way that only I would. I'm not quiet, I'm not reserved, I don't have any of those demure "girl" qualities, except that my hair is long and my cheek-bones are high. In fact, if I knew me, I'd probably think I was annoying as all heck. I would probably wonder who I thought I was. If I saw myself when I was talking, I would think I look ridiculous.

I might be saying goodbye to the only thing that's been constant in my life for a very long time. I said please don't make this harder. After that, will I be the same at all? Will I rebel, like I have in the past? Will I be even better for the experience? Will I be....lonely?

For once, this is for some pretty unselfish reasons. 

Do you think the heroes had doubts? Or do you think that they forged their paths that they knew would be different from everyone else's and stayed true to themselves for the long haul? More importantly, how will I survive without Ugly Betty to guide me?